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OT: My dad passed away on april 16th 2009 - 3:05pm central time.

Started by BaTSlab,

104 posts in this topic

Ze-man

Ze-man

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Just read your news and cannot imagine what you must be going through. I am 43 myself and have realized all to well lately that I am not bulletproof anymore, if I ever was. Not much I can really say except I appreciate you taking the time to share this news everyone if only to serve as a reminder to us all to not take anything for granted.

 

Makes me want to try all the harder to be a better person, husband and father.

 

If this post sounds off, thats probably because I still feel the loss of my father from a few years ago and I am not sure what to say, but wanted to say something.

 

 

 

 

 

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Icculus308win

Icculus308win

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BaTSlab,

 

 

It sounds horribly cliche, but I kinda know what your going through. I lost my Father in May of 2002 from stomach cancer. (Cancer can suck my right nut btw!) He just turned 50 and I was 24. My Father luckily found true peace before he departed this earth.....I hope your Father finds the same. Make sure those nurses stay on top of not letting your Father feel one iota of pain. Make it as painless as possible for him. Be with him as much as you can (I know it painful seeing our own personal version of superman so frail and it made me so mad and angry seeing him that way....but later I on, I was happy I was there. I wish I was there more) and just talk and say whatever is on your mind. Say things maybe you were always too embarrassed to say to him. Most importantly say you love him, it is good for him and you. Again, I wish I would have said it so much more. My prayers go to you and your Father.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Eric

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homerwannabee

homerwannabee

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I lost my mother when I was 27. It takes a while for the pain to fade but it eventually does happen. Remember this, he is you and you are him. Your family is him, and he is your family. The people who knew your father are him, and he is them. During his life pieces of him have filtered into those he had a contact with, and all the influences that made them are now your father to a certain extent. Though you may not have your father with you physically in a short period of time, remember that pieces of your father are all around you. Whether it is you, your family, your friends, or even your dog. Your father is part of all of them.

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BaTSlab

BaTSlab

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BaTSlab,

 

 

It sounds horribly cliche, but I kinda know what your going through. I lost my Father in May of 2002 from stomach cancer. (Cancer can suck my right nut btw!) He just turned 50 and I was 24. My Father luckily found true peace before he departed this earth.....I hope your Father finds the same. Make sure those nurses stay on top of not letting your Father feel one iota of pain. Make it as painless as possible for him. Be with him as much as you can (I know it painful seeing our own personal version of superman so frail and it made me so mad and angry seeing him that way....but later I on, I was happy I was there. I wish I was there more) and just talk and say whatever is on your mind. Say things maybe you were always too embarrassed to say to him. Most importantly say you love him, it is good for him and you. Again, I wish I would have said it so much more. My prayers go to you and your Father.

 

Sincerely,

 

Eric

 

Thank you so much. I'm currently making a scrapbook cutting out old photos of family & writing descriptions with the photos :)

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Icculus308win

Icculus308win

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To this day, I just tell myself someone somewhere had greater plans for my Father and one day I will be with him again. Until than, just know our Fathers are watching over us.

 

You take care of yourself and enjoy the time you have with him to the fullest.

 

Eric

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Beau

Beau

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Thanks for All the kind words, I appreciate it. :)

 

As harsh as this must sound, I'm almost happy that he will go in a weeks time...I hate watching him suffer in the hospital & knowing I can't do anything to help him. Every other day I visit him he lookes more and more deathly sick. It's not fair.

 

It's not harsh at all. My father died of Alzheimer's complications, which is to say that eventually Alzheimer's shuts down your body, one organ at a time, until it kills you. Of course, this is after it erases your mind.

 

I actually moved back home to help my mom with my dad while he was still ambulatory, and he died six years later. The last three years he didn't know who anyone was, the last two he was bedridden. The last six months he was unconscious most of the time, on morphine for the pain.

 

So, I know what it's like to watch your father suffer, and to be skin & bones at the end. I feel for you man, and I'm sorry that anyone ever has to go through what you're going through. If I'm ever diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I'll probably put a bullet through my head (if I can remember to). If I'm diagnosed with terminal cancer, well, I'm going to try heroin before hospice.

 

Stay strong.

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Tomega

Tomega

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I think it is good for you to post. Sometimes outlets like these can provide some comfort simply for the fact of people sharing in your grief. Even though this is, for the most part, an anonymous community, it is still a group of good people that shares common interests and experiences. I hope the sharing from cyberspace you find here provide some solace and allay some of your sorrow. Be strong, be there for your family and remember all great things about your father. It may not seem like he does not know you are there, but you would surpised. I wish you and your family the best I can in this difficult time.

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jimjum12

jimjum12

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The scrapbook is a great idea.I lost my Mom when she was 58....I'm the one who found her and our last words were an argument, I had gone to apologize and she was dead.If you can catch him in a lucid moment, make sure he knows how much you love and appreciate him.I had a series of dreams in which my Mom and I made peace,and I still feel her presence to this day....not as a figurative rationalization, but real.GOD BLESS...

 

-jimbo(a friend of jesus) (thumbs u

 

P.S. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I very much believe in ghosts. :cloud9: I have been fortunate enough to have had several times where firends and family have appeared to me in dreams right before their passing, several were not anticipated. (thumbs u

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Jeffro.

Jeffro.

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Thanks for All the kind words, I appreciate it. :)

 

As harsh as this must sound, I'm almost happy that he will go in a weeks time...I hate watching him suffer in the hospital & knowing I can't do anything to help him. Every other day I visit him he lookes more and more deathly sick. It's not fair.

 

Not fair at all. :(

I feel for you and your family. It's almost been a year since my mom went to the hospital with chest pains and then two days later she was gone. No one knew it but she had a tumor growing in her lungs and it had spread to the heart. There was nothing anyone could do.

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