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Crisis On Infinite Message Boards
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Started by Illiterati-migration,

1,204 posts in this topic

Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted
You know Joanna....I planned on going to the Frankfurt Fair this year. Should I oogle the mock-ups or something similar to get you some additional attention?

 

 

Jim

 

Cool! They're with Godsfield Press, so if you see their booth, ask them if they have anything by that world famous author, Joanna Sandsmark.

 

Nah, you don't have to ogle. But if you do see the booth, wave at it for me!

 

-- Joanna

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OldGuy

OldGuy

Posted
Posted
"Uranus! Now!" shouts Jupiter.

 

"Okee doke." Turning his back to the Hostess Hoard, Uranus scrunches up his face and unleashes his awesome power. As one, the Hoard faints from the noxious odor released by Uranus's south pole.

 

As soon as the Hoard loses consciousness, their creations revert to plain goo. The Solar Powers gather around -- some rather sheepishly -- looking at their fallen enemies.

 

YES! That'll teach them to respect the power of my south pole! 893applaud-thumb.gif

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COI

COI

Posted
Posted

Susie Q (Andrew Knight)

 

Susie Q, although a lot of fun, Playboy bunnies are not all that menacing."

 

893scratchchin-thumb.gif

 

confused.gif

 

 

 

 

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted

Issue 11, Part 1: Back to the Dawn of Time

 

Featured Players:

 

Lighthouse (Lighthouse) eye beams

Jupiter (BronzeBruce) flight, gas

Twinkie (Hogations) goo

Alias (Bonds) can split into 12

Sgt. Rocky (Awe4one) Super strength

Larry Von Dork (Werner Von Doom) evil scientist

Earth (Ubiquiti) flight, power over dirt

Spelling Bee (PovertyRow) flight, stinger

Rerun (Araich) TV in belly

Venus (CosmicBob) flight, love

Uranus (Old Guy) flight, noxious scent

Mylite (greggy) slabbed, irresistible

Damp Dude (Elvis) Aqua powers

Susie Q (Andrew Knight) goo

Ho Ho (Ninanina) goo

And everybody else.

 

The Meeting

 

In a gigantic thread about nothing, the heroes and villains meet. On the stage are Lighthouse, Jupiter, Twinkie, Alias, Sgt. Rocky, and Larry Von Dork. Lighthouse blinks his light to get everyone to quiet down, but no one pays attention.

 

"Shut up!" shouts Sgt. Rocky, at which everyone falls silent. "G'head, House."

 

"We have called everyone together because we face a common enemy. We shouldn't be fighting among ourselves, we should be destroying the Archi-Monitor!" He waits for cheers and applause, but there is silence. "He's really bad!" Beat. "He's an evil-doer!" There's a small murmur. "That's right, I called him an evil-doer! And I say bring 'em on, and let's roll, and it's a crusade, and, and, and... we need to kick the axis out of his evil! Right now!"

 

"Who writes his speeches?" whispers Earth.

 

"We found it on Coinee," says Bee. "It was originally posted to some coin collector named 'TJ' about the lack of originality in the Water Cooler. Because House didn't want the Archi-Moderator to know we're all in here, he figured he'd better disguise his speech as right-wing rhetoric."

 

"Works for me!" says Rerun. "I'm all fired up!" His TV-belly shows WWII bombing strafes over Germany from the History Channel.

 

"I'm getting all tingly," says Venus.

 

Uranus hands him some tough-actin' Tenactin.

 

House holds up his hands and blinks his light and the crowd goes silent again. "We need to go back in time to before the Archi-verse was formed. This way, we eliminate him and start all over."

 

Mylite holds up his hand.

 

"Yes, you in the tiny shorts?"

 

"Don't we need mystics for that sort of thing? None of us are magic-based heroes."

 

"We're going to use the power of the psychic hotline. Twinkie, the cell phone, please."

 

Twinkie dials the number he's had memorized for years and hands the phone to House.

 

House listens for a moment, presses 1 to accept the charges, then gives a thumb's up to the crowd. "I am Lighthouse, from the JBH, and to save the world as we know it, we need all of the powerful psychics on your psychic network to send us back in time. (pause) I'm really tall... married... What man in a green suit? Hmm... maybe Dave, that guy who runs the Applebees near Salt Lake City. ...with my wife? Really? Why that dirty--"

 

"House, the back-in-time thing," says Alias.

 

"Right. I'll deal with this later. Right now, we need to go back in time to before the origin of the Archi-Moderator so that we can change history and make sure Dave was never born. I mean, the Archi-Moderator was never born. Getting rid of him is priority 2! I mean 1! Can you do it?"

 

The crowd leans forward, waiting to hear the answer.

 

"You can? How much a minute? Sheesh! That's a bit pricey, doncha think? (pause) We have two kids, Brick and Mortar. (pause) Justa sec, I need a pen."

 

Larry hands him a pen. "I want that back."

 

"Okay, 6, 11, 24, 32, 8 and the mega-number is... 42, got it. Thanks."

 

A murmur rises from the crowd, but House again silences them.

 

"The good news: they can do it!"

 

Cheers!

 

"The bad news: it's going to cost a few million dollars."

 

Boos!

 

"The good news: she gave me the winning lottery numbers!"

 

Cheers!

 

"The bad news: the lottery isn't for a couple of days and by then we'll all be dead."

 

Boos!

 

"The good news: if we sell all of our comics, we can get a down payment!"

 

Boos!

 

"The bad news: there's not enough time to sell all of our comics."

 

Cheers!

 

"The good news: they'll accept VISA, MasterCard or Paypal."

 

A mixed response.

 

"More good news: they already have Twinkie's card numbers on file!"

 

Cheers from everyone except Twinkie, who turns white and passes out.

 

"Everyone get in a circle and hold hands. The time dimension should be opening up any minute now and we have to concentrate, putting all of our immense superpowered energy toward keeping the gateway open and traveling back in time. Anyone who gets car-sick take a Dramamine now. There'll be no ralphing in the time tunnel. Screws up the space-time continuum. Okay, now, people! A giant circle!"

 

Quickly, the heroes gather in a giant circle, holding hands. Damp Dude begins to sing Cumbayah and everyone joins in. They wait for tense minutes, straining to see the portal opening before their very eyes. But it doesn't. Twinkie's cell phone rings, waking him.

 

"Yellow!" says Twinkie. "Uh huh, yes, I see, okee doke." He hangs up and turns to the crowd. "My VISA was rejected. Happily, they had Susie Q's on file and his went through for the whole amount."

 

Susie Q faints. Quickly, they close the circle again, kicking his unconscious body out of the way. "Thanks, man," mumbles Ho Ho to his now penniless teammate.

 

Suddenly, in a flash of blinding, coruscating light, a time tunnel appears in the center of the circle.

 

"Last one in is a rotten egg!" shouts Bee, and the mob tumbles into the unknown.

 

To be continued...

 

 

 

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greggy

greggy

Posted
Posted
You're right.....I bow to the glory of your DCs! cloud9.gif

 

Also, congrats to your Bat #238 buy at SD. What are you trying to do? Corner the market on all HG copies? mad.gif

 

 

Jim

 

Only have 4 copies now but one will be sold back to drbanner. Two are currently at CGC now. Regret trading a copy a few years back for an Our Army at War 242. I'll keep the best copy and will sell/trade the rest. Yep...it's time to farm out my multiples! sumo.gif

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