That's a tough one my friend, but dont harbor any guilt. Your father could have been a better father, and made an effort to get to know you better.
I have held onto this guilt for many years thinking it was me who was the catalist for his demise. I had to realize that it was his decision to do the things he did, and not me. I've had alot of ups and downs in my life, but I always tried to do the best I could with everything I do. Whether it be making my wife and kids happy, being the best at work, or with my music or collecting. All I can do in life is my best.
Thank you