What do you do when your kids ask to have your duplicate collectibles? 2 2

[fantastic_four]

Consider this hypothetical that for many of you I'm sure has been reality--you collect comics or some comic-related collectible like statues or action figures.  You end up with multiples of an item, either by design because you're a part-time dealer, by accident, or because you've upgraded one for the other.  The reason why isn't all that important, but you've got extra for whatever reason.  Your child identifies that you have more than one of the thing and asks if they can have the extra.  Assume that you pretty much spoil the kid already, or at least that the kid has plenty of toys and as everyone does they just want more.  What do you tell them?

I've been expecting this, and this week it finally happened.  These are the possible answers I can think of to give:

• No, you've got plenty of stuff already.
  • Problematic because obviously if you have more than one of something for whatever reason you've probably got far more than they do so it's a response likely to build resentment over time.  Yes, you worked for what you have and they haven't yet, but that won't stop the resentment.
• Yes, it's extra, so sure, take it.
  • Also problematic because they will expect to get any and all extras you ever have, and if you're a part-time dealer or just occasional seller then your kid ends up taking all of your inventory.
• Yes, but you have to work for it.
  • This is the more balanced response I'd like to go for, but I don't know how to make it work for smaller kids--and my twins are 5 so that's the boat I'm in.

How do you handle your kids asking to have some of your stuff for their own?  I collect comics, action figures, and statues.  I let my 5-year old twins play with the action figures, but not the comics or statues.  My kids are the reason I got into action figures...I didn't realize just how awesome they've become over the last few decades, so I'm now selling all my statues and replacing their display space with action figures, which in most cases look better than the statues I'm replacing and are far cooler to display since you can achieve a ton of different poses.

Edited April 19, 2021 by fantastic_four

[Point Five]

Hmm, that's a great question. I thought it's something I'd be wrestling with by now re comic books and my son... but he's 10 now, heavily into video games and doesn't seem to have the collecting bug. I think you're on the right track with 'yes, but [some kind of limit]' though.

 

[fantastic_four]

10 minutes ago, Point Five said:

I think you're on the right track with 'yes, but [some kind of limit]' though.

I have an additional complexity in my case--I have two twins, one boy and one girl.  Predictably the girl likes girl superheroes, and the boy likes boy superheroes.  If I give one of them something, I immediately have the other one demanding something for themselves.  If it's an action figure there just aren't as many female figures to give the girl; roughly 1 in every 4 or 5 that are released are male.

That complexity is part of the reason I'm motivated to find some sort of work for them to do to earn the collectible.  That way I don't suddenly have to find something to give both of them unless they're both willing to work for it.

[lordbyroncomics]

I don't have children yet but this is something I have consciously planned for. We have planned for our child to have limited access to phones and video games and will largely be home schooled, with reading not really an option, but something organic. 

What I'll do with my collection (which is completely Golden-Silver-Bronze back issues and always growing) will depend on: if any of my children are into comics, know about comic book history, or show any interest whatsoever in it.

If they do... then, that makes leaving them your collection easier. If they aren't? Then you sell it eventually in your old age and the proceeds from that can go to leaving for your family or just your grandchildren or something. 

So, it really depends on the kid I'd wager. I mean, you could have a kid who totally shows no interest or a kid that is deeply passionate and gets into the history aspect of it, who knows? I've noticed there are some family run stores and vendors (Reese's Rare Comics comes to mind) where it's in a 2nd generation of ownership, passed on down from the parent(s) so kids following an interest in the medium isn't unheard of. But if any of my potential children just didn't care, I'd not push it on them.

[thunsicker]

1 hour ago, wisbyron said:

I don't have children yet but this is something I have consciously planned for. We have planned for our child to have limited access to phones and video games and will largely be home schooled, with reading not really an option, but something organic. 

I can tell you don't have kids yet.  The above is what every parent says until they actually have children.

On the OP question I haven't had that issue.  I even have bought comics specifically for the younger two to try to get them interested and they showed some interest for a short time but didn't end up getting the collecting bug.  If they did show interest I would do everything I could to encourage it.  That said I'm a collector, not a dealer or even an investor.

[oakman29]

Tough......😬

[lordbyroncomics]

35 minutes ago, thunsicker said:

I can tell you don't have kids yet.  The above is what every parent says until they actually have children.

=

I anticipated that kind of response because I know people that do have kids find non-children having people to be very audacious in their predictions. However, I assure you that any child of mine is not going to have open access to video games and devices at a young age. I'm sorry that offends you; I didn't say it wouldn't take parental effort, but it is entirely possible. It's up to the adult to give a kid a device at the dinner table, not the kid. It's up to the adult to put video screens on the backs of their front seats to keep a child quiet and docile on a long drive; I am going to ignore both of these things and I work with young children every week and have helped to raise my cousins so I have confidence that I can at least attempt these things, thanks. My decisions with my offspring are no judgment about what other people do in raising their kids, which is the real thing that provokes this response from you.

[dupont2005]

My kids aren’t into toys at all. They still get them on Christmas and birthdays, and they go in the box until we throw them away. I only own one Elfquest action figure and it’s in storage somewhere but the kids can have it. My boy still likes nerf guns and die cast cars. The girl likes stuffed animals and her iPad. 

[lordbyroncomics]

1 minute ago, dupont2005 said:

My kids aren’t into toys at all. They still get them on Christmas and birthdays, and they go in the box until we throw them away. I only own one Elfquest action figure and it’s in storage somewhere but the kids can have it. My boy still likes nerf guns and die cast cars. The girl likes stuffed animals and her iPad. 

I remember how entire toy lines would be developed and launched for kids and it doesn't happen much anymore. A guy I know who works for ReedPop once theorized that all toys and action figures evolved from being geared towards kids to now being geared towards grown men and serious collectors and I suspect there's some truth to that. 

[Bird]

you didn't give my answer...you have your things and I have my things, and these are my things. I share most of my things with you but I ask you not to touch these as they are important to me and little things that happen to them matter to me a lot. So thank you for asking but no you cannot have one of these. Then buy the kid an ice cream or somehow otherwise have a nice moment with them afterwards.

[troydivision1]

Child is in preschool.
If I don't care about the item anymore (opened toy / small statue / low value floppy), I just give to them if they ask.
If the item has 'value' (NM 98 or BA 12, for example) I search out the reprint and surprise them.
If no reprint is available or the item is too costly I simply say 'Maybe one day."
Additionally, they support their own comic collection by helping with yard work and earn $2 per bag filled with leaves.
They can then spend their money on the LCS $1 comic wall; once a month.

Edited April 18, 2021 by umyeahwhatevers

[kav]

2 hours ago, wisbyron said:

I anticipated that kind of response because I know people that do have kids find non-children having people to be very audacious in their predictions. However, I assure you that any child of mine is not going to have open access to video games and devices at a young age. I'm sorry that offends you; I didn't say it wouldn't take parental effort, but it is entirely possible. It's up to the adult to give a kid a device at the dinner table, not the kid. It's up to the adult to put video screens on the backs of their front seats to keep a child quiet and docile on a long drive; I am going to ignore both of these things and I work with young children every week and have helped to raise my cousins so I have confidence that I can at least attempt these things, thanks. My decisions with my offspring are no judgment about what other people do in raising their kids, which is the real thing that provokes this response from you.

Beware-children will want what they are denied and it will be a lifetime longing.  Dont let em watch TV and when they go to friend's house all they will want to do is watch TV.  As an adult they will be couch potatoes.  Deny candy and they will grow up to be candy fiends.

[skypinkblu]

6 hours ago, fantastic_four said:

Consider this hypothetical that for many of you I'm sure has been reality--you collect comics or some comic-related collectible like statues or action figures.  You end up with multiples of an item, either by design because you're a part-time dealer, by accident, or because you've upgraded one for the other.  The reason why isn't all that important, but you've got extra for whatever reason.  Your child identifies that you have more than one of the thing and asks if they can have the extra.  Assume that you pretty much spoil the kid already, or at least that the kid has plenty of toys and as everyone does they just want more.  What do you tell them?

I've been expecting this, and this week it finally happened.  These are the possible answers I can think of to give:

• No, you've got plenty of stuff already.
  • Problematic because obviously if you have more than one of something for whatever reason you've probably got far more than they do so it's a response likely to build resentment over time.  Yes, you worked for what you have and they haven't yet, but that won't stop the resentment.
• Yes, it's extra, so sure, take it.
  • Also problematic because they will expect to get any and all extras you ever have, and if you're a part-time dealer or just occasional seller then your kid ends up taking all of your inventory.
• Yes, but you have to work for it.
  • This is the more balanced response I'd like to go for, but I don't know how to make it work for smaller kids--and my twins are 5 so that's the boat I'm in.

How do you handle your kids asking to have some of your stuff for their own?  I collect comics, action figures, and statues.  I let my 5-year old twins play with the action figures, but not the comics or statues.  My kids are the reason I got into action figures...I didn't realize just how awesome they've become over the last few decades, so I'm now selling all my statues and replacing their display space with action figures, which in most cases look better than the statues I'm replacing and are far cooler to display since you can achieve a ton of different poses.

You don't have to give them ALL of your extras, suggest they can pick one of them for their birthday.

Also I know your 5 year olds are unique, brilliant and knowledgeable, but at that age, do they really care if you give them a collectible or an action figure from Target? As for boy girl stuff...I was a girl who liked superheroes, there were very few female superheroes...explain that Green Lantern can fly and he has jewelry...Batman can learn to use he own strength and tricks to be a hero without superpowers...etc, etc. he's got a dress up cape. There is a She Hulk, Black Widow, Captain Marvel, etc...Plus there are tons of female "villains".

[fantastic_four]

3 hours ago, Bird said:

I share most of my things with you but I ask you not to touch these as they are important to me and little things that happen to them matter to me a lot. So thank you for asking but no you cannot have one of these.

You even feel that way with your extras?  Is that true, or just something you say?  Once I upgrade a comic, or if I end up with two of an action figure, usually I don't have an attachment to both, just one or the better of the two.

In any event, your "no" answer is what I meant with my first one, you just gave a somewhat different rationale for it.

[Bird]

1 minute ago, fantastic_four said:

You even feel that way with your extras?  Is that true, or just something you say?  Once I upgrade a comic, or if I end up with two of an action figure, usually I don't have an attachment to both, just one or the better of the two.

In any event, your "no" answer is what I meant with my first one, you just gave a somewhat different rationale for it.

yes. if they had interest in it as a collectible, which is why I own it, I would consider.

I think my no is quite different than the one you offered. There is no need for resentment when handled correctly, and it is also good to establish boundaries with children. That is why my stuff doesn't become their stuff and their stuff stays their stuff (I take my kids to cons, they got some sweet sketches and they sit in their closet!)

[fantastic_four]

1 hour ago, skypinkblu said:

do they really care if you give them a collectible or an action figure from Target?

Yes and no.  They know HUNDREDS of Marvel and DC characters at this point, some of which have cheap alternatives available.  Do they know or care about the difference between a NM 9.4 or a VG 4.0 comic?  Not really.  Do they know the different between a $10 Titan Heroes action figure where the elbows and knees don't articulate, a $20 Marvel Legends with dozens of articulation points, or a $100 to $200 Mafex/Mezco/Sideshow high-end action figure?  Nope.  But if they see I have two of the same Ultron, or Scarlet Witch, or Sandman, then they know exactly who those characters are because they've seen them in my collection for years now and I usually can't get a cheap version of them.  Just hunting for a cheaper version would usually take more time than I would spend just giving them a $20 Marvel Legends figure they've already seen in our house and want.

[fantastic_four]

1 hour ago, umyeahwhatevers said:

Additionally, they support their own comic collection by helping with yard work and earn $2 per bag filled with leaves.

How old are your kids?

[Robot Man]

My kids are adults now. They never did when they were young no do they now want any of my stuff. I never pushed them. They had their own stuff. 

Being a collector, I would save all the boxes. When they got tired of them, I would have them gather up all the parts and put them back in their original boxes which I put away for them. 

My older daughter has all her original Star Wars toys and sports cards. My younger daughter has all her Turtles, Spawn and Simpson’s toys. We also have a large box of their video games. 

They don’t even want their own stuff. Once covid is under control, they both plan to come and get their stuff and sell it themselves. 

[Randall Ries]

7 hours ago, wisbyron said:

I don't have children yet but this is something I have consciously planned for. We have planned for our child to have limited access to phones and video games and will largely be home schooled, with reading not really an option, but something organic.

Haha. I was surprised at not only caving on those types of things, but the degree in which I caved. Peace and quiet becomes priority 1 and a parent will do nearly anything to attain it. Only one I really regret which was a decision taken away from me was the home schooling thing. A qualified parent is in a much better position to teach their kids. We found out during the pandemic who was qualified and who were sending their kids to school because of taxpayer subsidized babysitting.

[Randall Ries]

11 minutes ago, Robot Man said:

My kids are adults now. They never did when they were young no do they now want any of my stuff. I never pushed them. They had their own stuff. 

Being a collector, I would save all the boxes. When they got tired of them, I would have them gather up all the parts and put them back in their original boxes which I put away for them. 

My older daughter has all her original Star Wars toys and sports cards. My younger daughter has all her Turtles, Spawn and Simpson’s toys. We also have a large box of their video games. 

They don’t even want their own stuff. Once covid is under control, they both plan to come and get their stuff and sell it themselves. 

Nice collections! There was actually a "Spawnmobile"? I thought he could fly or transport or something. He must have been a sight at an A&W.