Crisis On Infinite Message Boards 6 6

[Proverbs22_2]

This thread is hilarious! BRAVO, Joanna! I can't recall when I've ever had this much fun with my clothes on...

 

[Joanna]

This thread is hilarious! BRAVO, Joanna! I can't recall when I've ever had this much fun with my clothes on...

 

 

Glad you're enjoying it! And feel free to read it in the nude.

 

-- Joanna

[Proverbs22_2]

This thread is hilarious! BRAVO, Joanna! I can't recall when I've ever had this much fun with my clothes on...

 

 

Glad you're enjoying it! And feel free to read it in the nude.

 

-- Joanna

 

GREAT IDEA!!!

 

{Ziiiiiiiiiiiip!}

 

 

-Joe

[Joanna]

 

GREAT IDEA!!!

 

{Ziiiiiiiiiiiip!}

 

 

-Joe

 

Here's something to fantasize about while I work on the next section:

 

[Proverbs22_2]

 

GREAT IDEA!!!

 

{Ziiiiiiiiiiiip!}

 

 

-Joe

 

Here's something to fantasize about while I work on the next section:

 

 

Ugh! Linda Carter has NOT aged well...

 

-Joe

[awe4one]

WELL......

 

Just catching up on threads I haven't had the time to read and I find this.....

 

Sgt Rocky of the Hero Squadron...... Well until the next chapter....there's PT at 0500 for the whole crew! So better get some sleep!

 

!....thanks Joanna for this thread!

 

 

Jim

[THE_BEYONDER]

Hey Joanna,

 

How about another chapter? I can't wait to hear what the HOSTESS HOARD has been up to.

[Joanna]

WELL......

 

Just catching up on threads I haven't had the time to read and I find this.....

 

Sgt Rocky of the Hero Squadron...... Well until the next chapter....there's PT at 0500 for the whole crew! So better get some sleep!

 

!....thanks Joanna for this thread!

 

 

Jim

 

Welcome to the thread, Sgt. Rocky! (my apologies for the demotion, if you're a ranking officer. I don't know your rank and besides, I wanted a good comic reference.) It's always nice to see an overly muscled, gritty soldier with a take-charge attitude.

[Joanna]

Hey Joanna,

 

How about another chapter? I can't wait to hear what the HOSTESS HOARD has been up to.

 

Sorry I couldn't get to it tonight. But I have the next chapter partially completed, so it shouldn't be too long before I can post again.

 

 

-- Joanna

[Joanna]

Appearing in this Issue:

 

The Hero Squadron

 

Sgt. Rocky (Awe4one) Super strength

Damp Dude (Elvis) Aqua powers

Magic Tape (Scottish) stickiness

Go Go (Speedjunkies) Superspeed

Zilla (Zillatoy) Ninja dinosaur

Ape (CD4ever) Shape shifter

Chrome Dome (Chromium) power over metal

 

With:

 

The Brick (Crisco) invulnerable

Flame War (Fantastic Four) Flame power

Where'd He Go (Clobberintime) invisibility

 

The Bad Brigade

 

Negative Lad (Murpho) can affect self-esteem

Larry Von Dork (Werner Von Doom) evil scientist

Fission (Rob_React) Atomic powers

Pyro (Blazingbob) Pyro powers

Ki-Zar (Comicwiz) Killer lizard

Origami (Kevthemev) power over paper

Runt (BigMan) Shrinking power

Squatter (Lantern) knee laser beams

 

 

 

 

Issue 10 Part 2: Bring 'Em On! Or Not.

 

The Hero Squadron (with The Brick, Flame War and Where'd He Go) vs. The Bad Brigade.

 

The Hero Squadron is in an empty thread, testing out their new powers. Sgt. Rocky is drilling the men, teaching them how to do covert operations, keep a steady amount of stubble on their chins at all times, and force-feeding them unfiltered Camels so that they can look world-weary in a foxhole.

 

"Cough, cough -- how'm I going to hold my breath underwater if my lungs are full of ta-bakky?" asks Damp Dude wanting to appear more colorful in hopes that will keep him alive just a little longer.

 

"Can't you breathe water, gill-boy?" asks Zilla.

 

"It would be better than smelling you."

 

"Hey! Below the belt!" Zilla is a little sensitive about the prehistoric scent that wafts from his scaly hide. "I'll bet the Mesozoic reaked!" he mumbles. "I probably smell like a handful of lilacs compared to one of those 180 ton freaks."

 

"Quiet in the ranks!," shouts Rocky, thrusting out his muscled chest to impress upon his men that he has the strength to subdue anyone -- even a 2 story ninja dinosaur.

 

"Sir, yes sir!" shouts Ape, shape-shifting into the form of a perfect marine.

 

"We're army, boy," says Rocky. He draws menacingly close, nose to nose. "The only Marine in these ranks is Damp Dude, and he has an excuse."

 

"I thought I was Navy."

 

"Shut up!"

 

"Eep."

 

Zilla laughs quietly at Damp Dude's distress. Unfortunately, laughing quietly for him sounds like an ear-splitting roar to the rest of the troops. Magic Tape ducks behind Chrome Dome.

 

"Get away from me, man!"

 

"Oops, I appear to be stuck..." MT's hands are stuck to CD's shoulders, and his cheek is hopelessly attached to his back.

 

"That power of stickiness? That's just really going to be helpful. I can't wait until you try to stop Fission's atomic powers by pasting yourself on him."

 

MT finally struggles free of CD, a piece of CD's shirt hanging off his cheek. "Did I get to choose these powers? Did I think, 'Oh, please, let me have the power of Elmer's School Glue!' No, I did not. I was hoping for maybe Green Arrow's skill with a bow and arrow. I could've handled that. With this power, I can't shoot an arrow because it would just STICK TO MY HAND!!"

 

"Hey, don't come unglued."

 

"No talking in the ranks!" shouts Rocky.

 

"He's making fun of me, Sarge!"

 

"Am not!"

 

"Are so!"

 

"Am not. I'm rubber and you're glue--"

 

"Shut up!" Sgt. Rocky leaves Ape, who's turned into a rock to escape Zilla's breath, and marches over to Chrome Dome and Magic Tape. "Everyone, gather around! I don't like what I'm seeing here."

 

The rest of the squad joins the three men. "What up?" asks Go Go, having trouble standing still.

 

"Morale stinks. You're all fighting each other, instead of the common enemy."

 

"What enemy? We're here alone," says Ape.

 

"Not quite. Look over there," says Zilla.

 

Three men approach. Well, actually it's one man, one large, yellow brick, and an invisible guy that no one sees, but trust me, he's there, too.

 

"This is a classified testing area! Go back from whence you came!" shouts Sgt. Rocky.

 

"Whence? Who are you, Stan Lee?" says Flame War.

 

"Heh. Stan Lee. Good one, FF," says the air next to FW.

 

"FW, dolt. We're in our hero forms now. I'm Flame War, got it?"

 

"And I'm The Brick."

 

"Gee, that's tough to remember, what with you're being a big, yellow brick and all. If only you'd picked something obvious."

 

"Leave butterball alone."

 

"Who died and made you king, FW?"

 

Flame War shoots jets of fire from his hands, but Where'd He Go was no longer standing where he was a second earlier. "Where'd he go?" asks FW.

 

"And you're complaining about my obvious name?"

 

"Shut up!" shouts Sgt. Rocky. "I'm sick of all the bickering!"

 

"It's called banter," says Ape, taking the form of Noel Coward.

 

"Who are you supposed to be?" asks Rocky.

 

"Noel Coward, erudite British playwright."

 

"There'll be no cowards in my Squad!"

 

Ape shifts to the monocled mascot of The New Yorker. "Better?"

 

"Much."

 

"So, you seen any bad guys?" asks Brick. "We're looking to kick some villain butt."

 

"So are we! High five!" says Go Go, slapping the air that just spoke.

 

"Ow! Dat was by dose!"

 

"You guys didn't happen to see an ocean or a lake or a large puddle around here, did you? I'm kind of useless without water," says Damp Dude, pulling the spandex out of his butt. "Damn thong. Why did I decide today was the day to try it out?"

 

"Nope. It's as dry as The Brick's love life."

 

"Hey! That hurt!"

 

"You're invulnerable. Suck it up."

 

"Enough! Everyone fall in! I'm going to whip you men into soldiers if it's the last thing I do! Any second now, we could be attacked by The Bad Brigade!"

 

"The Bad Brigade? So there are some villains? Excellent! I was afraid there weren't going to be any."

 

"Well there are! And they could come any second now."

 

Everyone searches the skies and horizon for a sign of the enemy, but it's all clear.

 

"...Just any... second now..."

 

Birds chirp, flowers bloom, the sun shines brightly.

 

"...they could be... you know, coming over that hill, or... flying in a flying thing... or zapping -- they do zap, y'know -- yeah, zapping into our midst..."

 

"Wish I had a Game Boy," says Go Go.

 

"I am a game boy," says Ape, turning into a giant handheld video game.

 

"...any second now..." says Rocky, searching the heavens for a sign, any sign.

 

The Hero Squadron and the three new recruits gather around Ape, playing Secret Agent Barbie.

 

"My niece has a game boy. It's the only game I know," says Ape sheepishly.

 

"There they are!" shouts Rocky. Everyone turns to look.

 

"That's a sparrow."

 

"From a distance it looked like the Bad Brigade."

 

"Close up, distance, still looks like a sparrow."

 

"Move over. I wanna be Barbie," says Sgt. Rocky.

 

Meanwhile

 

"Excellent, they fell for my sparrow-bot. We shall take them completely by surprise," says Larry Von Dork. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

 

"Now can we go fight?" asks Pyro.

 

"Soon..."

 

There's a groan among the villains. "Anybody have a Game Boy?" asks Origami.

 

To be continued...

 

 

 

[BigMan]

Can't Wait for Part 3 when Runt makes his 1st full appearance...

[WernerVonDoom]

Exx-cell-ent.

[Joanna]

Exx-cell-ent.

 

You and your insidious sparrow-bots! When will the madness end?

[Lantern]

[Joanna]

Thanks, Lantern!

 

It looks like the haters are out. The thread is down to 3 stars. Then again, who can blame some of the people in this story? Either that or it's Mylite, upset that he's not in every scene.

 

-- Joanna

[Lantern]

It looks like the haters are out. The thread is down to 3 stars.

I rated this thread five stars soon after it began, and I would rate it five again if I could. Let the haters keep on hating and you keep on writing the good stuff Joanna.

 

[Foolkiller]

This is actually an amazingly entertaining thread... I just read the whole thing. Kudos joanna.

[THE_BEYONDER]

Just gave this thread 5 stars, and bumped it to 4

I also gave Joanna 5 stars for taking time out of her busy schedule to entertain the forum community.

 

Unfortunately, there must be some HATERS, as Joanna remains at only 3 stars

Edited July 16, 2003 by THE_BEYONDER

[Joanna]

This is actually an amazingly entertaining thread... I just read the whole thing. Kudos joanna.

 

Thanks, foolkiller!

 

It took me awhile to find the thread today because it just got a sticky tack! Methinks I need to get more efficient about posting.

 

-- Joanna

[Foolkiller]

actually, what drew my attention to it was the sticky tack up top... I had almost forgotten about it and was happy to find it up here.