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I AM JIMMERS!
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Started by porcupine48,

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porcupine48

porcupine48

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Hey friends,many plenty sorries if anyone's been concerned...not my intent at all,sometimes I just crumble and it's been awfully difficult trying to put myself back together this time around.So many sad and terrible things I didn't/couldn't deal with properly,put on the back burner because I needed all my focus to be on positivity,to get well and keep healing my body.They catch up and build up-I've lost a bunch more people I was close with since last on, one being a girl I loved very very much before Mrs Porcupine came around.It broke me like ai never thought possible and the floodwaters poured out with "B'" loosing her battle.

My mental health is very fragile right now with depression still weighing very heavy annd the temptation to relapse is so spooning strong every day.I was gonna jump on yesterday after running some errands-I have some loot sitting with Lizards and it's been a WHILE,figured I should finally send him some quills so he could pack it off to Arden,now that mail is SORTA okay.Well,guess I dropped my debit walking Pineapple and someone had a good time 'tapping' on my dime.Let me tell you,that shot the carp out of feeling okay.What a terrible feeling.I'll be reinbursed,in TEN DAYS-I had tap turned off,but seems banks lifted that across the board?!!?Anyways,that just freaking pooped me off.I hope the person really needed that and maybe I made someones day a bit brighter?Have to try to be silver lining guy...but all that time on the phone,the moribund feeling of being ripped off...och,it's still eating me.

I want to be my ol' happy self when I post here,but I can't right now.The mental illness cripples me to the point I have attacks of anxiety just thinking about logging on.For real..it's absurd,but I freak out thinking about it.I'll lay i  bed thinking about making a post to say sorry,but then get anxious and my mind goes off and a million roads later I'm exhausted and I just hide the computer.I draw a lot.Art a few hours a day.J write,I mirco clean(think manic dusting organizing) I garden,I just try to stay busy and not let my mind go a zillion miles an hour.Today I was playing with my old table top victrola and the motor went.Joy!Sweated and maniced over that until K realized I needed to google,youtube how to fix it.So,I was online and thought I'd make a quick hi,excuse for where ai'd been and now,look,I'm rambling.

I think of you gang everyday and I have guilt.Larry,Marwood,Bats DOMO(💛again,thank you),batmiesta @Kevin.Jare you okay mate?RobotMan,my secret pm group(it's a SECRET)Ken Aldred DrX i have not read the pm @steveinthecitythanks so much for giving a shout.  @Get Marwood & II thought the letter would have been there...i'm not trying to miss anyone,sorry if you don't see your name it just means I'm overwhelmed right now

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lizards2

lizards2

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On 2/10/2022 at 2:05 PM, porcupine48 said:

I have some loot sitting with Lizards and it's been a WHILE,

Get me a safe address, and I'll get it shipped!

Some of this stuff might cheer you up! 

Weren't there like puzzles?  And of course, the Gay Love..., :baiting: 

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Ken Aldred

Ken Aldred

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On 2/10/2022 at 10:05 PM, porcupine48 said:

Hey friends,many plenty sorries if anyone's been concerned...not my intent at all,sometimes I just crumble and it's been awfully difficult trying to put myself back together this time around.So many sad and terrible things I didn't/couldn't deal with properly,put on the back burner because I needed all my focus to be on positivity,to get well and keep healing my body.They catch up and build up-I've lost a bunch more people I was close with since last on, one being a girl I loved very very much before Mrs Porcupine came around.It broke me like ai never thought possible and the floodwaters poured out with "B'" loosing her battle.

My mental health is very fragile right now with depression still weighing very heavy annd the temptation to relapse is so spooning strong every day.I was gonna jump on yesterday after running some errands-I have some loot sitting with Lizards and it's been a WHILE,figured I should finally send him some quills so he could pack it off to Arden,now that mail is SORTA okay.Well,guess I dropped my debit walking Pineapple and someone had a good time 'tapping' on my dime.Let me tell you,that shot the carp out of feeling okay.What a terrible feeling.I'll be reinbursed,in TEN DAYS-I had tap turned off,but seems banks lifted that across the board?!!?Anyways,that just freaking pooped me off.I hope the person really needed that and maybe I made someones day a bit brighter?Have to try to be silver lining guy...but all that time on the phone,the moribund feeling of being ripped off...och,it's still eating me.

I want to be my ol' happy self when I post here,but I can't right now.The mental illness cripples me to the point I have attacks of anxiety just thinking about logging on.For real..it's absurd,but I freak out thinking about it.I'll lay i  bed thinking about making a post to say sorry,but then get anxious and my mind goes off and a million roads later I'm exhausted and I just hide the computer.I draw a lot.Art a few hours a day.J write,I mirco clean(think manic dusting organizing) I garden,I just try to stay busy and not let my mind go a zillion miles an hour.Today I was playing with my old table top victrola and the motor went.Joy!Sweated and maniced over that until K realized I needed to google,youtube how to fix it.So,I was online and thought I'd make a quick hi,excuse for where ai'd been and now,look,I'm rambling.

I think of you gang everyday and I have guilt.Larry,Marwood,Bats DOMO(💛again,thank you),batmiesta @Kevin.Jare you okay mate?RobotMan,my secret pm group(it's a SECRET)Ken Aldred DrX i have not read the pm @steveinthecitythanks so much for giving a shout.  @Get Marwood & II thought the letter would have been there...i'm not trying to miss anyone,sorry if you don't see your name it just means I'm overwhelmed right now

Good to hear from you. I’m very sorry to learn you’ve been struggling with depression and bereavements, and the immense pressures arising from those factors. I’m going through a fairly extended depressive period myself but I’m experienced at masking it, to some extent. Point is, I do genuinely understand your situation. No need to be anxious, there are many here waiting to see you return.

Take care, pal.

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namisgr

namisgr

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On 2/12/2022 at 11:18 AM, KirbyJack said:

Always great to hear from you, Jimmers! 

+1

Wishing you nothing but the best of health and happiness.

And Cowgirl sends warm regards.

954773744_Cowgirlheatingducthouse.thumb.jpg.589fcd31c52a07d490e389ae438e1f2d.jpg

Edited by namisgr
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