Fights with your wives or significant others over comics?

[sniderwj]

My ex-wife and I used to get into it. She put up with it when I got back into collecting but eventually she didn't like it at all. I think she thought I would grow out of it. I remember getting into an argument because I suggested that she get me the Lego Batmobile for our anniversary (I thought I was helping out because it can be hard to buy presents for me). It set her off something horrible. That kind of opened the floodgates on what she thought of my collecting.

 

Needless to say she is my Ex. My current wife sealed the deal whenbought me that Batmobile. She also let me put out on display in public areas comic books and comic art. The Ex would NEVER do that. I tried to put the Batman Cover to Cover coffee table book on our coffee table.. lasted 20 minutes.

[This is water]

i'm unwed

[ThreeSeas]

I understand where you are coming from. Some spouses think sacrifice means you and not them. I had to un-train my wife from those ideas that she picked up from her first husband.

 

My wife does not mind my hobby as I do not currently spend much money on comics. She is thankful my money does not go towards drugs or alcohol or other women.

 

For the first four years of my marriage I was still picking up my weekly new comic fix and then things started to get tight after my second child was born. I was contemplating stopping buying new comics when my LCS decided to close. This made the decision for me as I did not go to one of the other two LCS's in my area to continue getting new comics.

 

I remember when I wanted to get married my wife and I had to take some classes at my old church and at one of the classes we were told that the number one cause of divorce was over money issues.

 

One thing I would recommend to newly married people and even some others is to talk about the bills and money coming in and come to an agreement on what money gets spent on what.

 

Now after nearly 17 years of marriage my wife and I have found that having separate bank accounts with both of us paying towards the bills works out the best. We actually have one joint account for miscellaneous stuff and a separate account each. Having separate accounts gives you more of a feeling of control.

 

I think one way of smoothing things out a bit would be to state "I am going to pay X dollars towards the bills and you should pay Y dollars out of your paycheck". Provided that neither of you two are a stay at home spouse. My wife did not work outside the house until our youngest started school.

 

One thing my mother had taught me is to allow yourself some "mad" money to just be able to use on anything you want. Doing that worked out well for my wife and I.

 

It can be tough, even after being married a few years, but if you can come to some sort of agreement it will be worth it.

 

One Thing not to do: Do not ever complain about your spouse to your parents (I never did) as even after you forgive your spouse your parents may not. I had a friend that his wife had done so and guess what? He ended up divorcing her and I bet part of it came from her parents constantly telling her that he was no good for her, even after they made up.

 

Don't let a hobby ruin things, but also don't let a spouse tell you "If the comics don't go, I will". I love my wife and I put her and my children above my hobbies, but if she ever gave me an ultimatum I think she would not know what happened until she hit the pavement with her luggage. I kind of joke about this as I know that neither she nor I would try something like this on the other.

[seank]

My Girlfriend can pull 9.8s out of dollar boxes. Trainem well fellas!

 

Sounds like a keeper!

 

My ex-wife didn't like comics and barely tolerated my hobby. Going through the divorce was terrible, but in hindsight, I'm much better off now. I'm away from a huge mortgage, her social climbing, and I have a fantastic girlfriend who likes comics. She goes to conventions and can spot golden age good girl art on a dealer's wall at 50 yards. I traded way up.

[underthebigw]

If it's causing real arguments...it's time to stop. (thumbs u

 

Sometimes wives are just wrong. I have too many friends whose wives have forced them to give up things they care about, and either become enraged by their interests or demean them.

 

Too often, it's not about the money, but envy over more intangible things, like time (attention), space and, even worse, the fact that their husband's have something in their lives that make them happy, and they don't (or can't) find an equivalent. I'd say the blame is 50/50, and it would be equally tragic to give up something you love because your spouse has issues.

[Pirate]

mine has no idea what I spend as I keep it all separate from our joint checking account. She knows I sell stuff to buy stuff so is indifferent.

[genrlzod]

 

One thing I would recommend to newly married people and even some others is to talk about the bills and money coming in and come to an agreement on what money gets spent on what.

 

Now after nearly 17 years of marriage my wife and I have found that having separate bank accounts with both of us paying towards the bills works out the best. We actually have one joint account for miscellaneous stuff and a separate account each. Having separate accounts gives you more of a feeling of control.

 

 

(thumbs u

 

My wife and I have been married for 11 years and we have had separate accounts and a joint account the entire time. In that time span we have never had an argument over money. I believe it has a lot to do with this arrangement.

 

Also she doesn't mind how much I spend on comics and I don't mind how much she spends on her hobbies. The bills are paid, money is in the bank and everyone is happy.

 

She is also supportive of my hobby. She goes with me to free comic book day and will pick out a few she thinks she would like. I have been picking up Jane Austen's Emma for her and she like back issues of The Pink Panther. But the best past, I get the basement. I have file cabinets for my comics and all sorts of statues and toys on display. She even like the addition of a spinner rack. She's the best.

[PokerKid]

If it's causing real arguments...it's time to stop. (thumbs u

+1

 

Talk with her and if it was just a bad night and she is really OK with it then work out a way to continue - perhaps a fixed budget. If money is tight and this will cause resentment, stop collecting.

[gaz973]

My wife has never complained about what I've spent on comics, she's always trusted me to be sensible with what I spent and I've always cut back when I thought I needed to.

[adamstrange]

Fights with your wives or significant others over comics?

I recommend having only one wife at a time as that minimizes the number of arguments. (thumbs u

[OldGuy]

I tried a wife for 11 years. They don't age as well as comics.

 

no wife = no fights

 

Everything I liked about my ex-wife I can get from my GF (7 years younger than ex-wife), and much more often.

[Silver Surfer]

My wife got mad at me the other day because I tooted in the living room. Was an accident.

[PokerKid]

My wife got mad at me the other day because I tooted in the living room. Was an accident.

 

That's why you need to get a dog - they can't deny it.

[lizards2]

If it's causing real arguments...it's time to stop. (thumbs u

 

Sometimes wives are just wrong. I have too many friends whose wives have forced them to give up things they care about, and either become enraged by their interests or demean them.

 

Too often, it's not about the money, but envy over more intangible things, like time (attention), space and, even worse, the fact that their husband's have something in their lives that make them happy, and they don't (or can't) find an equivalent. I'd say the blame is 50/50, and it would be equally tragic to give up something you love because your spouse has issues.

 

That's right. Just tell her, "I was collecting comics when I met you, and I'll be collecting comics long after your gone." That will set her straight.

[supapimp]

my collection wins every time, i don't care how good her pink glove is.

[Silver Surfer]

My wife got mad at me the other day because I tooted in the living room. Was an accident.

 

That's why you need to get a dog - they can't deny it.

 

Yeah but then I'd have to clean up after the dog which is not my favorite past time.

[PokerKid]

My wife got mad at me the other day because I tooted in the living room. Was an accident.

 

That's why you need to get a dog - they can't deny it.

 

Yeah but then I'd have to clean up after the dog which is not my favorite past time.

 

That's why you need to have kids. (There must be an end to this craziness somewhere.)

[Silver Surfer]

My wife got mad at me the other day because I tooted in the living room. Was an accident.

 

That's why you need to get a dog - they can't deny it.

 

Yeah but then I'd have to clean up after the dog which is not my favorite past time.

 

That's why you need to have kids. (There must be an end to this craziness somewhere.)

 

I do. 6-8 diapers a day is enough for me at the moment.

[Mac Man]

My wife and I get a set $ personal allowance each month, and we're free to spend that amount however we like--NO QUESTIONS ASKED. There are times when both of us wanted to purchase something that was more than we had saved up, and we will take a "loan" out against our allowance with the understanding we simply have to hold off on getting any future allowances until we're "back in black." Obviously, there is an honor system involved here along with self-discipline to adhere to it.

 

Bottomline is that people should have a little money to themselves, but it should all be done above the table via open lines of communication. If I'm going over on a particular month, I let my wife know. And if bills are a little extra one month (house / car repairs, etc), then we simply have to stick within our means. Our spouses don't need to necessarily "like" the hobbies we have, but there should be an air of mutual respect for one another's individual interests. Open communication is one key to this.

 

I also find that the one or two times my wife was unhappy with my hobby, it was less about the money I was spending and it had more to do with the time and attention I was paying to her. When she knows 100% that this is just a hobby of mine and that she (and now my children) are my TOP priorities in life, the comics and everything else isn't even issue. My second point is that if she doesn't feel like she has to compete with your comics and side interests, she will probably be less likely to go on the offense against them.

 

[Jonesin4Comics]

My Girlfriend can pull 9.8s out of dollar boxes. Trainem well fellas!

 

That's where I'm heading!

 

We have had some pretty heated "discussions" about the amount of money I spend each week. I agreed and have been working on trimming my pulls and such.

 

The best validation, though, is her seeing me actually sell books for decent amounts tips the scale in my favor. Now she even gives me selling tips!