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Crisis On Infinite Message Boards
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Started by Illiterati-migration,

1,204 posts in this topic

greggy

greggy

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As I recall, the next chapter has Mylite holding a gem mint Action #1 with a bead of sweat just about to drop onto its pristine cover...
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Joanna

Joanna

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Sorry it took so long. Decided to take a shower first. Okay, here we go:

 

Where we left off:

 

First Emoticon, then Rerun, then Alias see the drop of sweat, and notice that it is directly above the Gem Mint 10.0 Action Comics 1. If it drops, the book is trashed. Seconds tick sluggish and hollow as they stare mesmerized at the inexorable pull of gravity. The drop travels down Mylite's cheek, inching ever closer to his jaw.

 

"...of course, I've never actually met a button man before, but my admiration is genuine," says Mylite, unaware of the drama unfolding on the side of his face. "Love the pinstripes."

 

"Yeah? Sears junior dept. I could show ya the shelf, if youse was innerested or sompin," says Shortie.

 

"I'd love that." Without thinking, Mylite nods his approval.

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

 

 

Issue 12, Part 4B: A Drip in Time

 

 

Emoticon (BachelorOfComix) can be any emoticon

Rerun (Araich) TV in belly

Alias (Bonds) can split into 12

Mylite (greggy) slabbed, irresistible

Dirk Diamond (MinuteKev) Private Eye

Shortie Spumoni (Puny Human) Gangster

 

Issue 12, Part 4B: A Drip in Time

 

 

Time slows to a crawl as Emoticon, Rerun, and Alias watch as the bead of sweat, now loosened from Mylite's jaw, plummets toward the gem mint copy of Action Comics #1. Mylite, still unaware of the mutinous droplet, and focused only charming Shortie Spumoni, giggles charmingly at the height-impaired gangster. When the sweat is mere centimeters away from splashing upon the pristine comic book, Mylite gestures toward his shorts. The movement whisks the book out of harm's way and the droplet falls impotently on the bottom of his slab. Emoticon, Rerun, and Alias breathe an enormous sigh of relief in unison.

 

"Do you like my shorts?" Mylite asks.

 

"I got a pair just like'em when I did a gooseberry lay after crushing outta da caboose," says Shortie.

 

Mylite looks helplessly at Dirk.

 

"He said that he once stole a similar pair off of a clothesline when he escaped from jail."

 

Alias inches behind Mylite, trying to get the Action 1 out of his hands.

 

"Hey!" says Shortie, noticing Alias's surreptitious movements. He levels his gun. "Don't be a sap!"

 

"I just wanted to get the comic," he says, still reaching for it. Mylite's sweaty brow was busy manufacturing new bomblets and the danger of a ruined gem mint was still very real.

 

"Yeah, well, I told youse ta be still, so be it!"

 

"Yessir." Alias freezes, his eyes glued to the first appearance of Superman.

 

Mylite, finally aware of the danger, whips out a 4 mil mylar and fullback and slips the book inside. "Silly things, these comics. But they amuse me." He smiles winningly and Shortie swoons.

 

"I was on my way to get a stack of wheats. Wanna come?" asks Shortie, batting his eyelashes.

 

"Let me guess: pennies?"

 

"Pancakes," says Dirk. "He's hungry."

 

"Buy me a comic first?" says Mylite with a wink.

 

Shortie chuckles, throws a sawbuck at the newsie and says, "Take 'em all."

 

Alias, Emoticon and Rerun grab all the stacks of comics. Alias mentally commands the return of his aliases.

 

"Dirk," whispers Rerun. "Where did you say you saw that portal?"

 

"In the park."

 

"Is the park on the way to the pancake house?"

 

"Not really."

 

Rerun whispers to Mylite, "Hey, make him detour through the park. The portal's there."

 

"Gotcha." Mylite turns to Shortie and lifts the hem of his short short by half an inch. "May we stroll through the park on the way? It's ever so nice today."

 

Shortie blushes, and agrees.

 

Alias's aliases return, laden with comics. They quickly meld back into the original Alias. The burden of books is too much and he bobbles the stack. Mylite and Dirk both grab some.

 

"You boys sure do like your funny books," says Dirk.

 

"Lay off'em, Diamond. Whatever Mylite wants, Mylite gets," says Shortie.

 

"Mylite wants a freaking portal," he mumbles.

 

"What?"

 

"I said, 'Mylite wants African portabellas.' They're a rare mushroom, with a lovely, woody taste."

 

"Yeah, well, I'll ask Frankie to make your wheats with fungus. It ain't usual, but then so ain't you." Even Shortie is a tad confused by his last statement, but he shakes it off. "C'mon, let's ankle."

 

"Walk," says Dirk with a sigh.

 

"I'm so glad this chapter has subtitles," says Emoticon.

 

"Yeah, I'd never be able to understand it otherwise," says Rerun.

 

As they walk through the park, Dirk steers them toward a large, breast-like portal. Emoticon falls to his knees and immediately begins worshiping it. "Be my girlfriend," he squeaks.

 

"Oh, look!" says Mylite, casually spinning the nipple to the beginning of time. "A carnival ride. Me first."

 

Before Shortie can protest, Mylite jumps through the portal. Alias and Rerun grab Emoticon and dive in after them. As the portal begins to shimmer and fade, Shortie leaps in with a cry of "Snookums!" Dirk, never one to miss an opportunity to dive face first into a breast, leaps in as well. The portal disappears.

 

To be continued...

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