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Crisis On Infinite Message Boards
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Started by Illiterati-migration,

1,204 posts in this topic

Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted

Issue 12, Part 4D: I'm OK Corral, You're OK Corral

 

The Brick (Crisco) invulnerable

Flame War (Fantastic Four) Flame power

Where'd He Go (WHG) (Clobberintime) invisibility

Kid Twister (Drummy) Stretching Power

 

Issue 12, I'm OK Corral, You're OK Corral

 

 

The Earp brothers and the very drunk Doc Holliday and the Marvelous Four head toward the OK Corral. WHG keeps phasing in and out, unable to stay visible or invisible for long in his inebriated state. The Brick walks slowly, fearing falling down. When he falls, he's like a turtle on its back, unable to get up, and he doesn't want to miss the shootout. Flame War hums softly to himself, nodding occasionally at hitching posts that he mistakes for school marms. Kid Twister and Doc Holliday, though both soused, fare much better than the time traveling heroes. Their usual cowboy swaggers are close enough to drunken lurching that no one can tell the difference.

 

Just before a bend in the road, the Earps stop.

 

"Morgan, you go to the left. Wyatt, you take the right," says Virgil Earp.

 

"Doc, you're with me," says Wyatt.

 

"No, I get Doc!" says Morgan.

 

"You get Kid Twister and the out-of-towners," says Wyatt.

 

"We're the Marvelous Four," says Flame War.

 

"I'll take Kid, but I ain't goin' nowhere near them other guys."

 

"Now, Morgan," says Virgil placatingly, "they ain't so bad. I hear the big yella one can't be killed. You could use him as cover."

 

"That true, Yella Fella?" asks Morgan.

 

"S'long as I don' fall down, I'm good to go," says Brick. He falls down. "I'm shot!" he says, flailing his legs and arms.

 

"Yer drunk," says Kid Twister, helping him to his feet. "Don't worry, Morgan, we'll keep him upright. Right, gang?"

 

Brick falls back down. This time, the Kid struggles to right him but doesn't succeed. "Sompin' ain't right. You put on weight since last I hefted ya up?"

 

"Maybe it's my pistol," says Brick, putting down the small twig he had been using as a gun.

 

"Do I get a pistol?" asks Flame War. "I seem to have lost mine."

 

"You never had any," says WHG, turning visible. He's sitting on Brick's chest.

 

"You can have mine," says Brick, handing him the twig. Flame War smiles.

 

"Maybe we oughta rethink this whole thing," says Virgil. "Wyatt, Morgan, Doc – we can handle them Clantons alone, doncha think?"

 

"Yup," says Morgan.

 

"No doubt," says Wyatt.

 

"Absolutely," says Doc.

 

"You betcha," says WHG, falling off Brick. He turns invisible again and belches.

 

With a nod, Virgil motions the sober members of the crew toward the OK Corral.

 

"Aw, horse butts, look what ya done did now! They's left us. We ain't gonna git to do no shootin' or nothin'!" says Kid Twister.

 

"You can shoot me," volunteers Brick, still prone on the ground.

 

"I'm not gonna be left behind. Especially now that I have a gun!" says Flame War, waving his twig menacingly. He lurches off after the Earp brothers.

 

Something belches right behind Flame War.

 

"Wait for me," says Kid Twister, following.

 

"C'mon, guys, help me up." There's no answer. Brick cranes to see where everyone went. He's alone. A tumbleweed rolls past him. "Huh, I always thought that was a Hollywood cliché, but apparently, they really do roll by when there's a shootout." He flails again, but it's no good. "Hello? Anyone? School marm? Crooked Gambler? Town floozy? Oh c'mon, you've got tumbleweeds and Wyatt Earp but no town floozy? No way!"

 

Just then a hardened cowboy walks up. "Who are you calling a floozy? I'm loose, but I ain't no floozy."

 

"Who are you?"

 

"Ike Clanton."

 

"Clanton? From the OK Corral? Aren't you supposed to be in a gunfight, oh, about..." Suddenly, gunfire crackles from around the bend. "...Now?"

 

"Damn! Look, you wanna earn a gold piece, stranger?"

 

"Sure!"

 

"Come with me. I could use some extra guns against those damn Earps."

 

"But I—" Before he can finish, Ike Clanton pulls Brick to his feet and leads him toward the OK Corral.

 

Meanwhile...

 

"Virgil and Morgan have been wounded," says Kid Twister. "It's up to us to save the day!"

 

"What are my powers again?" asks Flame War. He throws a small pebble at one of the Clantons. "Ha! Got him. He's dead."

 

Having just been made aware of his presence, the Clanton shoots toward Flame War,

 

"Duck!" says Twister.

 

"I have the powers of a duck? That seems pretty useless."

 

"No, you danged fool, git down! They're shooting at you!"

 

Flame War screams and dives behind a tumbleweed. "Quack! Quack! ...How do I activate my duck powers?"

 

Suddenly, Kid Twister cries out. He's been shot in his gun arm. He winces in pain, dropping his revolver. "I'm a goner," he says.

 

"I'm a duck."

 

Meanwhile...

 

"Virgil and Morgan have been wounded," says Wyatt. "It's up to us, Doc."

 

"I just killed another Clanton. That makes three. Have you seen Ike?"

 

"No, and that's really bugging me. I thought Ike would've been in the heart of the fight."

 

"...erp..."

 

"Call me Wyatt, Doc."

 

"I didn't say anything."

 

"...erp..."

 

"What? What do you want?"

 

"Nothing, Wyatt."

 

"...erp..."

 

"I'm right here! Just say it, Doc!"

 

"...erp... Sheesh, I always belch in fours. Never fails," says an invisible WHG.

 

"It's one of the freaks," says Doc, ducking a bullet.

 

"Hey look! It's Brick!" says WHG. "And he's got a new friend!"

 

Wyatt turns to see Brick being pushed ahead of Ike Clanton. "It's Ike!"

 

Doc and Wyatt empty both of their pistols, but Brick proves to be incredibly effective cover. "Dang, he really is good at that," says Wyatt.

 

WHG materializes. "Yoo hoo! Brick! We're over here!"

 

"Hey, WHG! Meet Ike Clanton. Ike, this is WHG, Doc Holliday, and that's Wyatt Earp."

 

Ike shoots at Wyatt, but misses.

 

"Wyatt, Doc, WHG, this is Ike Clanton."

 

Ike shoots at Doc, but his bullet is deflected by Brick's waving arm.

 

"You clumsy fool! You made me miss."

 

"That's not nice," says Brick. "WHG, let's go get the others and get out of here. No one is nice to us. I need a drink."

 

Suddenly, a large, swirly, whooshy, milky, round portal with a nipple shows up.

 

"It's a giant school marm!" says Brick. "Cool!"

 

Just then, Flame War and Kid Twister join the group. "We got bored and heard someone yelling about a marm."

 

They see the portal. "Holy monster marm!" says Flame War.

 

WHG spins the nipple the dial. "Let's go!"

 

"Nice to meet you," says Flame War, shaking hands with Wyatt Earp. "I'm duck."

 

Twister shoves Flame War into the portal, wincing at the pain in his arm.

 

"Where's my gold piece?" Brick asks Ike Clanton.

 

Twister grabs him and shoves him in the portal. "Another time, Brick. Seeya Wyatt, Doc. Have a nice shootout!" As soon as Twister jumps in, the portal disappears.

 

To be continued...

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lighthouse

lighthouse

Posted
Posted

**sigh**

 

I miss Crisis...

 

 

 

I remember being 8 years old, sitting outside the grocery store in the summer time leaning against the warm cinder block wall, tearing fruit leather into tiny pieces and setting them next to me on a paper bag, reading the comic book that was laying across my lap, taking a bite of fruit leather as I finished each page, trying to have the fruit leather and the comic both last until my mom came back out with her groceries, trying to balance the need for delayed gratification with the desire to race to the end of the comic so I could start over and read it again.

 

I remember those days well... and when I think of Crisis, that's how I feel... like a bright-eyed child, full of wonder, with my whole life ahead of me, if only I can sit still long enough to read the next page...

 

 

 

I miss Crisis...

 

**sigh**

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted

Hi, 'House and Beyonder. Sorry that the updates aren't very regular any more. I'm busy writing a novel, so when I have the time to write fiction, that's what I need to focus on. Perhaps when I finish I can go back to this. For now, I need to keep myself afloat.

 

I do appreciate the kind words, though!

 

-- Joanna

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PovertyRow

PovertyRow

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Posted
I had this thread on my watch list for awhile now. Is anyone literary capable of continuing this?

 

I can!

 

Our story begins with Cheeze Wiz and his gastric para chute! With a mighty shout of P A R M A S A N he transforms...

 

hmmm - maybe not...

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mica

mica

Posted
Posted
I had this thread on my watch list for awhile now. Is anyone literary capable of continuing this?

 

I can!

 

Our story begins with Cheeze Wiz and his gastric para chute! With a mighty shout of P A R M A S A N he transforms...

 

hmmm - maybe not...

:gossip:
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