OT - Seperated from my wife and I need some venting!

[DrWatson]

She doesn't want to be touched. Doesn't know how she feels and is just content to run the house and live a safe and happy life with no affection. I'm not into living that way and need a partner/lover in my life to make a marriage worth while. We started out that way but I guess things change over 10 years.

She doesn't want to be touched. Doesn't know how she feels and is just content to run the house and live a safe and happy life with no affection. I'm not into living that way and need a partner/lover in my life to make a marriage worth while. We started out that way but I guess things change over 10 years.

 

AMEN BROTHER!

 

Affection is SO Frickin' important and I think women flat out forget that.

I want to bash them on the head with a nerf baseball bat and ask them when common sense went out the window...that if you really have to wonder why your mate is cheating on you, you might need to look in the mirror (women).

 

Some guy on the View (my wife watches it sometimes and told me...) this guy comes on and says "If we're cheating its because you're not taking care of us at home."

And these yentas acted like this was E=MC2 explained to them!

 

My best friend growing up...I always thought his parents had the perfect marriage.

Wasn't true.

They divorced after his little sister left the house.

Turns out that when the sister was born, shortly after his Mom stopped being intimate with the Dad. Take away our oxygen why don't you.

Didn't want to be touched, wasn't in the mood, Dennis Leary said it best, you have a headache for 10 effin' years, you need to see a doctor, that's a tumor!

 

So my buddy's Dad, who BTW was totally in love with his wife...stepped out one night.

Felt guilty about it and confessed almost right away.

And to the wife, that was the end of the marriage. They stayed together "for the sake of the kids" and I can't imagine the hurt this guy must have felt.

 

Same thing happened with an ex girlfriend...her Dad was in the exact same situation.

Difference was, when he had his one night stand after he couldn't take it anymore, and confessed his sins, the wife made it her life's mission to utterly and completely destroy him Doc Doom style. Destroy him as a person, his dental practice, everything.

 

If you don't feed your dog, simply because you "don't feel like it anymore" or say, you wish you had a cat instead or a hamster because it's low maintence...but you just can't bring yourself to get rid of the dog because...well, because you're USED TO HAVING IT AROUND..but you still can't be bothered to FEED IT...you are a complete insufficiently_thoughtful_person when you are actually surprised the dog up and BIT YOU one day...I mean, God, aren't they supposed to be LOYAL TO A FAULT?

 

Dumb azz. Seriously.

And these two men...I knew them both...loved their wives and while it devestated them to cheat, they were hungry after not eating for a few years.

 

I've got a buddy in the same situation, I am convinced his marriage is doomed.

His wife is my wife's best friend, I can't stand her because of how she treats (or mistreats) him. He hasn't been intimate with his wife since October, she calls all the shots. He says he still loves her and will be faithful to her and stay married.

I asked him what happens say, five years down the road, his situation hasn't changed. Then what?

 

He looked me in the eye and said, "I stay with her."

I said "okay...hold that thought. I'd like to pick this conversation up again five years from now."

 

My neighbors are in a similar situation as 1coolengineer...they can't stand each other but stay together for the kid.

Folks, I'm here to say, you're not doing the kid any favors.

I've told my wife that, God forbid, if that ever happens to us, I am leaving.

I can be a great Dad to my girls and not live at home. Why expose them to all that animosity??? Teaches them the wrong thing. Hopefully, that won't be an issue.

I am lucky to say that, true, while we all have our problems, and my marriage is far from perfect, I am grateful that I have such a wonderful woman that puts up with me and my nerd friends (I say that with affection) and doesn't make me feel like .

We do our own things and still have time for each other.

 

In closing, I would like to say that Eddie Murphy hit the nail on the head but in a very strong albeit funny way...just go see RAW...you guys know the line I am thinking of.

 

When your woman up and had NO time for you at all...and doesn't care for your needs (obviously) it's time to leave.

A survey by USA TOday and CNN not too long ago on spouses that cheat, stated that for the most part, it's not a case of grass is greener or the woman is hotter...it's a case of a woman that is actually paying attention to someone who doesn't get validation at home.

 

This goes both ways, but I just happen to know more nice guys then not who are NOT happy at home because the wife pretty much just takes it for granted.

 

Same buddy mentioned above...told me that his wife said she wants to get on a "schedule" of once a month sex.

 

I said, "Dude...my wife ever said that to me, I'd let her know she just greenlit an affair or a divorce...I'm okay with either one."

Do you have something on your mind, Rich or are you gunning for Dr. Phil's job?

[PokerKid]

My "shallow" lifestyle of dating girls for a month isn't looking too bad right about now. I think I'll stick with it for a little while longer.

 

Just don't wait too long, or you'll be too fat, bald or ugly for any woman to marry.

 

Thanks for reminding me, I better not do anything to screw up my marriage. I'm three for three.

[Senormac]

Sorry to hear about your situation cool-e........divorce is never a happy time, but sometimes its just neccessary. Sometimes things are not repairable and the chemistry has become bad.

 

My wife and I are going on 19 years, and it is honestly getting better and better as the years go by. I don't know how we found each other.....but I am very thankful that we did. The reason I say its getting better is because it takes less and less work to maintain. We have developed a trust that allows us to rest with each other. I am for her......and she is for me.

 

I hope you can find that too.

 

oh yea......Dave Sim is a selfish insufficiently_thoughtful_person !!

 

 

[dwip99]

Sorry to hear about your situation cool-e........divorce is never a happy time, but sometimes its just neccessary. Sometimes things are not repairable and the chemistry has become bad.

 

My wife and I are going on 19 years, and it is honestly getting better and better as the years go by. I don't know how we found each other.....but I am very thankful that we did. The reason I say its getting better is because it takes less and less work to maintain. We have developed a trust that allows us to rest with each other. I am for her......and she is for me.

 

I hope you can find that too.

 

oh yea......Dave Sim is a selfish insufficiently_thoughtful_person !!

 

 

Who is Dave Sim?

 

Sorry to hear about your troubles

 

I hope your daughter and you can build a great relationship going forward. My oldest brother and his wife split when his daughter was about 6 and she is 16 now and they have a great relationship. Him and the ex still don't see eye to eye on stuff but they always put their daughter first and that was a good common ground for them.

 

Good luck moving forward hope things work out.

[MR.COMICBOOK]

My "shallow" lifestyle of dating girls for a month isn't looking too bad right about now. I think I'll stick with it for a little while longer.

 

Just don't wait too long, or you'll be too fat, bald or ugly for any woman to marry.

then he will pay.

[1Cool]

Its easy for me to point all the blame on her but I'm sure it had some to do with me. We just were not "into each" other from the get go and kind of forced stuff for way too long. There was a bunch of good times but half were pretty miserable. I really appreciate the words and the stories. You guys (and the occational girl) are really some good eggs. Of course this thread won't be legit until Greggy throws in a couple frowny faces to liven stuff up!

[Rich_Henn]

She doesn't want to be touched. Doesn't know how she feels and is just content to run the house and live a safe and happy life with no affection. I'm not into living that way and need a partner/lover in my life to make a marriage worth while. We started out that way but I guess things change over 10 years.

She doesn't want to be touched. Doesn't know how she feels and is just content to run the house and live a safe and happy life with no affection. I'm not into living that way and need a partner/lover in my life to make a marriage worth while. We started out that way but I guess things change over 10 years.

 

Do you have something on your mind, Rich or are you gunning for Dr. Phil's job?

 

Doc Phil Henn!

 

No, no...to be 100% honest, I just hear that story so often from so many unhappy guys, it just seems like a common sense thing. I have a wonderful friend from college going through the exact same thing right now.

Heartbreaking.

 

And my buddy that I mentioned reminds me of myself 20 years ago before I met my wife...I was in a similar situation.

Listening to 1coolengineer describe his problems just reminded me of all that.

Sorry to vent, that post was way too long

[VintageComics]

Its easy for me to point all the blame on her but I'm sure it had some to do with me. We just were not "into each" other from the get go and kind of forced stuff for way too long. There was a bunch of good times but half were pretty miserable. I really appreciate the words and the stories. You guys (and the occational girl) are really some good eggs. Of course this thread won't be legit until Greggy throws in a couple frowny faces to liven stuff up!

 

Actually greggy has started talking now...he may never stop.

 

[cavecarson]

Sorry to hear and Congratulations on your new life. May your next love be curvaceous, vivacious and have the need to please!

[CJ]

Well, its finally official. After years of fights and "compromises", I couldn't take living with a mother at best and a enemy at worse. As of Friday, I'm out of the house and things are moving along. I wanted to list a couple things that were red flags:

 

1. I enjoyed reading comics more than spending time with her. Way more!

2. Worked extra hours at work since it meant less time with her.

3. Wished Santa went after her rather than Grandma.

4. She called me Dad and Son one night in bed. Does that guy get around or what?

 

I'm pretty broken up about it all since it was a ten year marriage and we have a 5 year old daughter but it will all work out for the best. And thanks for letting me vent/joke a little on the boards.

 

If you need to talk PM me

11 years of marriage here, 2 9 year old sons, and in a few months it will all offically be over.

IT SUCKS IT IS BAD AND BY GOD I HOPE IT WILL GET BETTER

 

--it has gotten better and it will but it still sucks.

Really PM me if you ned to talk

 

Chris

 

[jduran1]

I have to admit that 11 out of 12 married couples are either miserable or on the road to divorce. Its probably the toughest thing to do in life is to fall in love and keep that love going over 15 years. People change and the hurt feelings just keep piling up.

 

Thanks for the helpfull words in the PM's!

 

I am sorry you have to go through that. I wish you the best.

[Subliminal]

My "shallow" lifestyle of dating girls for a month isn't looking too bad right about now. I think I'll stick with it for a little while longer.

 

Just don't wait too long, or you'll be too fat, bald or ugly for any woman to marry.

 

1) You don't need to be good looking to attract women. Money will do just fine.

 

2) I have a medical condition that is sort of a mixed blessing; it forces me to prioritize working out, as I have to keep a low BF percentage. Sure, no one should really let themselves get out of shape, but I pretty much don't have a choice. Weights and cardio daily have become as natural to me as brushing my teeth. (I'm 100% serious here)

 

3) There is no male pattern baldness in my family history.

 

So basically, I'm good.

 

You don't need money or good looks...all you need to catch a woman's attention is a good heart and a little confidence. The rest is either BS or you attract women that you don't want to attract. Who wants a relationship with a woman that is with you for your money and looks?

 

 

 

(thumbs u

 

I have a good heart and little confidence.

Does anyone have an "a" I can buy?

I can pay well (because you can't take it with you)

[bghkoyama]

Well, its finally official. After years of fights and "compromises", I couldn't take living with a mother at best and a enemy at worse. As of Friday, I'm out of the house and things are moving along. I wanted to list a couple things that were red flags:

 

1. I enjoyed reading comics more than spending time with her. Way more!

2. Worked extra hours at work since it meant less time with her.

3. Wished Santa went after her rather than Grandma.

4. She called me Dad and Son one night in bed. Does that guy get around or what?

 

I'm pretty broken up about it all since it was a ten year marriage and we have a 5 year old daughter but it will all work out for the best. And thanks for letting me vent/joke a little on the boards.

 

Sorry to hear about your situation. Like Roy, I'm finishing up on my divorce paperwork after 13yrs of marriage (10yr old and 3yr old daughters in the mix). I guess 13 really is a bad number. Just make sure you and your daughter are happy. We have 50/50 custody. We just need to sell the house and I can wipe my hands of this divorce (good high priced Beverly Hills lawyer = no alimony or child support (thumbs u )

We need to start a thread on divorcees.....seems to be a lot on the boards...

 

Brian

[PokerKid]

My first marriage and divorce was the worst times of my life, but the years since and the wonderful woman I am married to now have been better than I could ever imagine. It takes time to work through it, but there are better days ahead. Lean on your friends, they will hold you up and help you out.

[bghkoyama]

I think I got the better end of the divorce. I got all the computer equipment, tv's and the Wii (wahoo!!)

 

Brian

[Fireboy]

[THE_BEYONDER]

You may want to remove that gif from your sig line.

[DiceX]

She doesn't want to be touched. Doesn't know how she feels and is just content to run the house and live a safe and happy life with no affection. I'm not into living that way and need a partner/lover in my life to make a marriage worth while. We started out that way but I guess things change over 10 years.

She doesn't want to be touched. Doesn't know how she feels and is just content to run the house and live a safe and happy life with no affection. I'm not into living that way and need a partner/lover in my life to make a marriage worth while. We started out that way but I guess things change over 10 years.

 

AMEN BROTHER!

 

Affection is SO Frickin' important and I think women flat out forget that.

I want to bash them on the head with a nerf baseball bat and ask them when common sense went out the window...that if you really have to wonder why your mate is cheating on you, you might need to look in the mirror (women).

 

Some guy on the View (my wife watches it sometimes and told me...) this guy comes on and says "If we're cheating its because you're not taking care of us at home."

And these yentas acted like this was E=MC2 explained to them!

 

My best friend growing up...I always thought his parents had the perfect marriage.

Wasn't true.

They divorced after his little sister left the house.

Turns out that when the sister was born, shortly after his Mom stopped being intimate with the Dad. Take away our oxygen why don't you.

Didn't want to be touched, wasn't in the mood, Dennis Leary said it best, you have a headache for 10 effin' years, you need to see a doctor, that's a tumor!

 

So my buddy's Dad, who BTW was totally in love with his wife...stepped out one night.

Felt guilty about it and confessed almost right away.

And to the wife, that was the end of the marriage. They stayed together "for the sake of the kids" and I can't imagine the hurt this guy must have felt.

 

Same thing happened with an ex girlfriend...her Dad was in the exact same situation.

Difference was, when he had his one night stand after he couldn't take it anymore, and confessed his sins, the wife made it her life's mission to utterly and completely destroy him Doc Doom style. Destroy him as a person, his dental practice, everything.

 

If you don't feed your dog, simply because you "don't feel like it anymore" or say, you wish you had a cat instead or a hamster because it's low maintence...but you just can't bring yourself to get rid of the dog because...well, because you're USED TO HAVING IT AROUND..but you still can't be bothered to FEED IT...you are a complete insufficiently_thoughtful_person when you are actually surprised the dog up and BIT YOU one day...I mean, God, aren't they supposed to be LOYAL TO A FAULT?

 

Dumb azz. Seriously.

And these two men...I knew them both...loved their wives and while it devestated them to cheat, they were hungry after not eating for a few years.

 

I've got a buddy in the same situation, I am convinced his marriage is doomed.

His wife is my wife's best friend, I can't stand her because of how she treats (or mistreats) him. He hasn't been intimate with his wife since October, she calls all the shots. He says he still loves her and will be faithful to her and stay married.

I asked him what happens say, five years down the road, his situation hasn't changed. Then what?

 

He looked me in the eye and said, "I stay with her."

I said "okay...hold that thought. I'd like to pick this conversation up again five years from now."

 

My neighbors are in a similar situation as 1coolengineer...they can't stand each other but stay together for the kid.

Folks, I'm here to say, you're not doing the kid any favors.

I've told my wife that, God forbid, if that ever happens to us, I am leaving.

I can be a great Dad to my girls and not live at home. Why expose them to all that animosity??? Teaches them the wrong thing. Hopefully, that won't be an issue.

I am lucky to say that, true, while we all have our problems, and my marriage is far from perfect, I am grateful that I have such a wonderful woman that puts up with me and my nerd friends (I say that with affection) and doesn't make me feel like .

We do our own things and still have time for each other.

 

In closing, I would like to say that Eddie Murphy hit the nail on the head but in a very strong albeit funny way...just go see RAW...you guys know the line I am thinking of.

 

When your woman up and had NO time for you at all...and doesn't care for your needs (obviously) it's time to leave.

A survey by USA TOday and CNN not too long ago on spouses that cheat, stated that for the most part, it's not a case of grass is greener or the woman is hotter...it's a case of a woman that is actually paying attention to someone who doesn't get validation at home.

 

This goes both ways, but I just happen to know more nice guys then not who are NOT happy at home because the wife pretty much just takes it for granted.

 

Same buddy mentioned above...told me that his wife said she wants to get on a "schedule" of once a month sex.

 

I said, "Dude...my wife ever said that to me, I'd let her know she just greenlit an affair or a divorce...I'm okay with either one."

 

Rich, that might have been the most beautiful thing I've ever read.

Put me on that list, in that same scenario.

 

 

[1Cool]

This thread has been amazing!! I walked around most of yesterday in a haze feeling like I was going to barf all over my computer. Things are falling into perspective and the new "single" world is falling into place. Of course now I have to worry about my actual mother stepping in and wanting me to do everything she wants. I had to ask her for some distance since I'm not willing to end up disliking my mom over this. She backed off a bit after I told her how I feel. I think thats the biggest thing I learned from this whole thing - say whats on your mind and stand up for yourself and people will listen and respect how you feel. A whole new world!!

 

Know of any hot girls that like comics, sci-fi movies and sushi buffets?

[1Cool]

I'm of course not dating! In all honesty - I do worry about doing to a girl what my wife did to me. I've found I really like being in control of most things in life and I will really have to find a middle place to find "happiness". I can't push other people around or they will end up hating me as much as I grew to hate my wife.