Fantastic Four from Fox Studios (8/7/15) 1 1

[Comicopolis]

BLEEDING COOL: Putting The Response To The Fantastic Four Into Perspective

 

20th Century Fox’s latest attempt to bring the Fantastic Four to the big screen has not been received well by critics. The website Rotten Tomatoes pulls together all of the reviews for the film and comes up with a percentage of being “fresh”… the Josh Trank film came in at 9%. To compare that to two other recently released films gives you a better idea of just what that means. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation is sitting at 93% and Ant-Man is at 79%.

 

- Spider-Man 3, 63%

- Amazing Spider-Man 2, 53%

- Daredevil. 44%

- X-Men Origins: Wolverine, 38%

- Green Lantern, 26%

- Fantastic Four, 27%

- Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, 36%

- Ghost Rider, 26%

- Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance, 17%

- The Spirit, 14%

- Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, 12%

- Batman And Robin, 11%

- Elektra 10%

 

Wow!

 

I'm shocked that The Spirit is as high as 14%

[Mr 9.8]

Btw...the Doom pictured is an action figure. But still...

Seriously? Who's making it?

http://www.sideshowtoy.com/collectibles/marvel-doctor-doom-sideshow-collectibles-400086/

 

 

 

I thought you meant MOVIE doom. Seriously, that's how bad Movie Doom looks.

[Prince Namor]

It's bad, but it's definitely not as bad as Batman and Robin or Superman IV. That's just insulting. The first 80% is a marginally passable sci-fi movie, even if there was zero character development or chemistry between the cast. The last tacked on ending just ruined everything.

 

This is exactly what I suspect I will think of the movie when I...

 

...when I buy a ticket for 'The Gift' and go into the FF movie instead...

[jools&jim]

 

I thought you meant MOVIE doom. Seriously, that's how bad Movie Doom looks.

Whoops -- sorry! But yeah...an action figure might have been an improvement...

 

 

 

[Prince Namor]

I thought you meant MOVIE doom. Seriously, that's how bad Movie Doom looks.

Whoops -- sorry! But yeah...an action figure might have been an improvement...

 

 

 

Somebody HOLDING an action figure with their hand and making a Doctor Doom voice might've been better!

[NewEnglandGothic]

OK, now hear me out.

I haven't been drinking.

 

What if ABC could develop the Fantastic Four as a half-hour sitcom?

 

Like dysfunctional Roseanne in tights. With cameos by d-list Marvel supporting characters (The Runaways, etc).

 

They can battle baddies while still intergrating with one another in their "home" setting. It could be a groundbreaking translation now that it's really burned it's bridges on the big screen.

 

Just a radical thought.

 

 

[Davenport]

 

Like a dysfunctional Roseanne in tights.

Thanks for that visual.

[NewEnglandGothic]

 

Like a dysfunctional Roseanne in tights.

Thanks for that visual.

I was lost in a corn maze today and that idea just came to me for some reason. I figured it would be a great outlet to get a lot of family drama off their chests. Maybe make Victor Reed's boss at a science lab or something, Sue can be the loving mother to her house of freaks. I don't know there's something about that screams family comedy in a timeslot on Friday night after Last Man Standing, if the rights revert back to Disney someday.

 

It was just a radical idea, that might be able to please the fans again.

[Mr 9.8]

The 6 Best and 6 Worst Fantastic Four Members Who Weren't Really the Fantastic Four

 

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/02/the_6_best_and_6_worst_fanastic_four_members_who_w.php

[Mr 9.8]

 

BOX OFFICE: Here's How Much Josh Trank's Controversial Tweet Cost FANTASTIC FOUR

 

It may have been Tweeted and deleted, but the Tweet from Josh Trank which saw him distance himself from the reboot has received mainstream media coverage. Now, box office analysts have managed to figure out how much it likely cost Fantastic Four during its opening weekend...

 

Fantastic Four has been a fantastic flop for Fox this weekend, and while the reviews and terrible word of mouth ensured it was always going to disappoint at the box office, the hits just keep on coming for the reboot. Hours before the movie was set to open on Thursday opening, director Josh Trank Tweeted: "A year ago, I had a fantastic version of this. And it would have received great reviews. You’ll probably never see. That’s reality though." No big deal, right? Well, box office analysts tell The Wrap that Trank's comments likely cost the movie as much as $10 million!

http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/JoshWildingNewsAndReviews/news/?a=123793

[SpideyFein]

Sooooo, should I see this or not?

 

Reading EVERY SINGLE review, I could not fine one good thing about it. Daaammnnn! I just always want my superhero movies to be good. I could say I did not have high hopes for it of course.

 

You mean there's nothing good about it?

 

Just tell me there's something good about it.

[passion4comics]

Fox.... The Enron of the movie business. It's still not on the torrents as a screener. I guess I'll wait.

[WernerVonDoom]

Here is my full spoiler review

Warning, Spoiler:

The movie opens in a classroom and the purpose of the scene is to show how smart Reed is as a child and that Ben was in his class. The classroom is dingy, the kids and the teacher make fun of Reed for his crazy ideas. 15 seconds in, and I knew I wasn't watching a FF movie. The FF always celebrates science and intelligence. If this was in a real FF movie, the room would be bright, the teacher would be an arrogant sub who calls on Reed, and all the other kids are smiling because they know Reed is going to put him in his place (not in a vengeful way, but in a here are the "real facts" way).

 

The initial intro to Ben is fine, he doesn't say anything, but is intrigued by Reed. Unfortunately it cuts now to Ben's home life, and his abusive brother smacks him HARD across the head and says, "It's Clobbering Time!". The Thing's fun catchphrase has now been linked to child abuse.

 

Having young actors is tough, and they seemed to do a fine job except when given lines a child would never say like Reed's first words to Ben, "Don't kill me!" Being super-smart I guess makes you jump to the worst-case scenario, or in this bleak Ultimate FF world, people get routinely murdered for petty theft. Then a little later, Reed teleports a toy car. Instead of a normal kid's reaction, "Wow, that's cool!!!!", we get a quiet, "Reed you are insane". No one is allowed to have any fun in this movie.

 

The film jumps 7 years to a high school science fair. It must be a small school that goes from K-12th grade, because Reed's 5th grade teacher is there judging the contest (not to mention there are actual 5th graders that Reed is competing against). The experiment works, but for some inexplicable reason it shatters a basketball backboard. No one seems to be concerned that if the wave had been aimed lower, it would have killed a bunch of kids.

 

Franklin Richards and Sue suddenly appear at the science show with no explanation why they are there, I guess they are scouting talent at this odd K-12 school in the poorer part of town. Or maybe they saw the list of upcoming school science projects that every school announces in advance. Anyway, they basically say, "wow, your experiment is exactly what we are working on, what a coincidence, we would like to give you a full scholarship." in about 30 seconds of screen time.

 

Fast forward again to the Baxter Foundation, and Reeds talks to Sue in the library. They discuss the music Sue is listening to and she blurts out "Pattern Recognition", like a slightly functioning autistic savant. That's how the character is played throughout the entire movie. You couldn't be farther from Sue Storm if you tried.

 

Dr. Doom is introduced as a moping emo recluse who only agrees to return to the project because Sue will be there. Dr. Doom is in love with Sue in this mess. In the real FF, Dr. Doom's motivations are 1) finding a way to save his damned mother; 2) making Latveria prosper (in his twisted way); 3) increasing his power so he can control the world; 4) proving that he smarter than Reed. In this movie, there is no mention of his mother, you never see Latveria, he wants to destroy the world and move on, and he dislikes Reed, not because of his intelligence, but because he is jealous of Sue. WTF.

 

Victor whines about the government destroying the planet. Sue says, "Look at Dr. Doom here". That line was probably filmed before the studio changed Victor Van Damme back to Victor Von Doom.

 

Johnny Storm is introduced in street race. He says two lines, "You promise me we'll still be cool after I dust your ." and "bye bye" then crashes his car. A quick cut to Johnny and his Dad coming out of the hospital and Johnny has a broken arm. Franklin yells at him and says he has the I.Q. to reach his full potential. So basically Reed, Sue, and Johnny are geniuses.

 

Johnny must have a mutant healing factor because his broken arm is never mentioned again.

 

They build the transporter and the government stooges come in. The test works and the officials tell the group that it will go to NASA now to coordinate going to another planet. Totally reasonable next step. Victor gets mad and gives the official his middle finger. Let me repeat that, the dignified royal Dr. Doom gives the bird. So painful.

 

Reed, Victor and Johnny get drunk, they decided to go to the planet on their own (leaving out Sue?) Reed calls Ben and tells him to come on down to the lab so he can go to another planet also. Ben not being drunk, of course agrees.

 

They make it to Planet Zero (Not the Negative Zone - it has no creatures, just rocks and green energy goo). They decide to climb down a mountain to investigate. Johnny being the daredevil, gets scared and stays behind.

 

Doom touches the goo, which starts a chain reaction of exploding goo. Victor doesn't make it and falls back into the goo. Sue brings the other 3 back. Sue apparently gets zapped by goo somehow, but it isn't shown on screen, which is really odd.

 

A cut and the 4 are locked up in government facility. They show the "horror" of their powers. Reed hears Ben calling out to him and makes his way to Ben's cell. Ben asks for Reeds help, but Reed takes off and leaves him there when the alarm sounds. The real Reed would then use his mind to get his friends out ASAP. I kept expecting that to be the case. Turns out he just runs and hides for a year and is depressed.

 

Ben gets pissed and makes a deal with the government, to be a soldier for them in exchange for a cure.

 

A year passes in a cut, and Ben has been busy killing people for the military. On the last mission alone, he killed 43 people. Yes, the Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Thing, is a mass-murderer. The Thing, who goes to the park and juggles laughing kids - yes that Thing.

 

Sue betrays Reed and locates him for the government. Her motive is that Reed needs to send people back to Planet Zero so the four can be cured. Of course, there is no explanation on what would be accomplished by going back there, except for giving the government access to make more super-soldiers.

 

Reed fixes the machine and they send a second team to the planet who finds Victor and brings him back. Victor's skin has turned to metal, which worked so well in the Tim Story movies, they decided to do it again. Victor then "Scanners" kills the base soldiers and Franklin Richards.

 

Doom just wants to get back to Planet Zero so he can create a world of 1. If so, why the hell did he come back to Earth when he was already there?!?!

 

Cheesy quick battle ensues, Ben throws one punch, Doom is disintegrated.

 

The government gives them a billion dollar facility and they name themselves the Fantastic Four.

 

Zero Stars

 

[Mr 9.8]

I...words just fail me.

Thanks for the review.

[Mr 9.8]

Guys! The half in the bag review is Finally here!!!

http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-fantastic-four/

[WernerVonDoom]

Guys! The half in the bag review is Finally here!!!

http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-fantastic-four/

 

I like that they come to the realization that the target audience is kids comic fans horror fans general audiences no one.

 

It is sad though. Since they don't know much about the comics, and get their info from all of these debacles, they can't see how to make a good FF movie.

[Prince Namor]

Here is my full spoiler review

The movie opens in a classroom and the purpose of the scene is to show how smart Reed is as a child and that Ben was in his class. The classroom is dingy, the kids and the teacher make fun of Reed for his crazy ideas. 15 seconds in, and I knew I wasn't watching a FF movie. The FF always celebrates science and intelligence. If this was in a real FF movie, the room would be bright, the teacher would be an arrogant sub who calls on Reed, and all the other kids are smiling because they know Reed is going to put him in his place (not in a vengeful way, but in a here are the "real facts" way).

 

The initial intro to Ben is fine, he doesn't say anything, but is intrigued by Reed. Unfortunately it cuts now to Ben's home life, and his abusive brother smacks him HARD across the head and says, "It's Clobbering Time!". The Thing's fun catchphrase has now been linked to child abuse.

 

Having young actors is tough, and they seemed to do a fine job except when given lines a child would never say like Reed's first words to Ben, "Don't kill me!" Being super-smart I guess makes you jump to the worst-case scenario, or in this bleak Ultimate FF world, people get routinely murdered for petty theft. Then a little later, Reed teleports a toy car. Instead of a normal kid's reaction, "Wow, that's cool!!!!", we get a quiet, "Reed you are insane". No one is allowed to have any fun in this movie.

 

The film jumps 7 years to a high school science fair. It must be a small school that goes from K-12th grade, because Reed's 5th grade teacher is there judging the contest (not to mention there are actual 5th graders that Reed is competing against). The experiment works, but for some inexplicable reason it shatters a basketball backboard. No one seems to be concerned that if the wave had been aimed lower, it would have killed a bunch of kids.

 

Franklin Richards and Sue suddenly appear at the science show with no explanation why they are there, I guess they are scouting talent at this odd K-12 school in the poorer part of town. Or maybe they saw the list of upcoming school science projects that every school announces in advance. Anyway, they basically say, "wow, your experiment is exactly what we are working on, what a coincidence, we would like to give you a full scholarship." in about 30 seconds of screen time.

 

Fast forward again to the Baxter Foundation, and Reeds talks to Sue in the library. They discuss the music Sue is listening to and she blurts out "Pattern Recognition", like a slightly functioning autistic savant. That's how the character is played throughout the entire movie. You couldn't be farther from Sue Storm if you tried.

 

Dr. Doom is introduced as a moping emo recluse who only agrees to return to the project because Sue will be there. Dr. Doom is in love with Sue in this mess. In the real FF, Dr. Doom's motivations are 1) finding a way to save his damned mother; 2) making Latveria prosper (in his twisted way); 3) increasing his power so he can control the world; 4) proving that he smarter than Reed. In this movie, there is no mention of his mother, you never see Latveria, he wants to destroy the world and move on, and he dislikes Reed, not because of his intelligence, but because he is jealous of Sue. WTF.

 

Victor whines about the government destroying the planet. Sue says, "Look at Dr. Doom here". That line was probably filmed before the studio changed Victor Van Damme back to Victor Von Doom.

 

Johnny Storm is introduced in street race. He says two lines, "You promise me we'll still be cool after I dust your ." and "bye bye" then crashes his car. A quick cut to Johnny and his Dad coming out of the hospital and Johnny has a broken arm. Franklin yells at him and says he has the I.Q. to reach his full potential. So basically Reed, Sue, and Johnny are geniuses.

 

Johnny must have a mutant healing factor because his broken arm is never mentioned again.

 

They build the transporter and the government stooges come in. The test works and the officials tell the group that it will go to NASA now to coordinate going to another planet. Totally reasonable next step. Victor gets mad and gives the official his middle finger. Let me repeat that, the dignified royal Dr. Doom gives the bird. So painful.

 

Reed, Victor and Johnny get drunk, they decided to go to the planet on their own (leaving out Sue?) Reed calls Ben and tells him to come on down to the lab so he can go to another planet also. Ben not being drunk, of course agrees.

 

They make it to Planet Zero (Not the Negative Zone - it has no creatures, just rocks and green energy goo). They decide to climb down a mountain to investigate. Johnny being the daredevil, gets scared and stays behind.

 

Doom touches the goo, which starts a chain reaction of exploding goo. Victor doesn't make it and falls back into the goo. Sue brings the other 3 back. Sue apparently gets zapped by goo somehow, but it isn't shown on screen, which is really odd.

 

A cut and the 4 are locked up in government facility. They show the "horror" of their powers. Reed hears Ben calling out to him and makes his way to Ben's cell. Ben asks for Reeds help, but Reed takes off and leaves him there when the alarm sounds. The real Reed would then use his mind to get his friends out ASAP. I kept expecting that to be the case. Turns out he just runs and hides for a year and is depressed.

 

Ben gets pissed and makes a deal with the government, to be a soldier for them in exchange for a cure.

 

A year passes in a cut, and Ben has been busy killing people for the military. On the last mission alone, he killed 43 people. Yes, the Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Thing, is a mass-murderer. The Thing, who goes to the park and juggles laughing kids - yes that Thing.

 

Sue betrays Reed and locates him for the government. Her motive is that Reed needs to send people back to Planet Zero so the four can be cured. Of course, there is no explanation on what would be accomplished by going back there, except for giving the government access to make more super-soldiers.

 

Reed fixes the machine and they send a second team to the planet who finds Victor and brings him back. Victor's skin has turned to metal, which worked so well in the Tim Story movies, they decided to do it again. Victor then "Scanners" kills the base soldiers and Franklin Richards.

 

Doom just wants to get back to Planet Zero so he can create a world of 1. If so, why the hell did he come back to Earth when he was already there?!?!

 

Cheesy quick battle ensues, Ben throws one punch, Doom is disintegrated.

 

The government gives them a billion dollar facility and they name themselves the Fantastic Four.

 

Zero Stars

Oh... My... God...

[Mr 9.8]

Here is my full spoiler review

The movie opens in a classroom and the purpose of the scene is to show how smart Reed is as a child and that Ben was in his class. The classroom is dingy, the kids and the teacher make fun of Reed for his crazy ideas. 15 seconds in, and I knew I wasn't watching a FF movie. The FF always celebrates science and intelligence. If this was in a real FF movie, the room would be bright, the teacher would be an arrogant sub who calls on Reed, and all the other kids are smiling because they know Reed is going to put him in his place (not in a vengeful way, but in a here are the "real facts" way).

 

The initial intro to Ben is fine, he doesn't say anything, but is intrigued by Reed. Unfortunately it cuts now to Ben's home life, and his abusive brother smacks him HARD across the head and says, "It's Clobbering Time!". The Thing's fun catchphrase has now been linked to child abuse.

 

Having young actors is tough, and they seemed to do a fine job except when given lines a child would never say like Reed's first words to Ben, "Don't kill me!" Being super-smart I guess makes you jump to the worst-case scenario, or in this bleak Ultimate FF world, people get routinely murdered for petty theft. Then a little later, Reed teleports a toy car. Instead of a normal kid's reaction, "Wow, that's cool!!!!", we get a quiet, "Reed you are insane". No one is allowed to have any fun in this movie.

 

The film jumps 7 years to a high school science fair. It must be a small school that goes from K-12th grade, because Reed's 5th grade teacher is there judging the contest (not to mention there are actual 5th graders that Reed is competing against). The experiment works, but for some inexplicable reason it shatters a basketball backboard. No one seems to be concerned that if the wave had been aimed lower, it would have killed a bunch of kids.

 

Franklin Richards and Sue suddenly appear at the science show with no explanation why they are there, I guess they are scouting talent at this odd K-12 school in the poorer part of town. Or maybe they saw the list of upcoming school science projects that every school announces in advance. Anyway, they basically say, "wow, your experiment is exactly what we are working on, what a coincidence, we would like to give you a full scholarship." in about 30 seconds of screen time.

 

Fast forward again to the Baxter Foundation, and Reeds talks to Sue in the library. They discuss the music Sue is listening to and she blurts out "Pattern Recognition", like a slightly functioning autistic savant. That's how the character is played throughout the entire movie. You couldn't be farther from Sue Storm if you tried.

 

Dr. Doom is introduced as a moping emo recluse who only agrees to return to the project because Sue will be there. Dr. Doom is in love with Sue in this mess. In the real FF, Dr. Doom's motivations are 1) finding a way to save his damned mother; 2) making Latveria prosper (in his twisted way); 3) increasing his power so he can control the world; 4) proving that he smarter than Reed. In this movie, there is no mention of his mother, you never see Latveria, he wants to destroy the world and move on, and he dislikes Reed, not because of his intelligence, but because he is jealous of Sue. WTF.

 

Victor whines about the government destroying the planet. Sue says, "Look at Dr. Doom here". That line was probably filmed before the studio changed Victor Van Damme back to Victor Von Doom.

 

Johnny Storm is introduced in street race. He says two lines, "You promise me we'll still be cool after I dust your ." and "bye bye" then crashes his car. A quick cut to Johnny and his Dad coming out of the hospital and Johnny has a broken arm. Franklin yells at him and says he has the I.Q. to reach his full potential. So basically Reed, Sue, and Johnny are geniuses.

 

Johnny must have a mutant healing factor because his broken arm is never mentioned again.

 

They build the transporter and the government stooges come in. The test works and the officials tell the group that it will go to NASA now to coordinate going to another planet. Totally reasonable next step. Victor gets mad and gives the official his middle finger. Let me repeat that, the dignified royal Dr. Doom gives the bird. So painful.

 

Reed, Victor and Johnny get drunk, they decided to go to the planet on their own (leaving out Sue?) Reed calls Ben and tells him to come on down to the lab so he can go to another planet also. Ben not being drunk, of course agrees.

 

They make it to Planet Zero (Not the Negative Zone - it has no creatures, just rocks and green energy goo). They decide to climb down a mountain to investigate. Johnny being the daredevil, gets scared and stays behind.

 

Doom touches the goo, which starts a chain reaction of exploding goo. Victor doesn't make it and falls back into the goo. Sue brings the other 3 back. Sue apparently gets zapped by goo somehow, but it isn't shown on screen, which is really odd.

 

A cut and the 4 are locked up in government facility. They show the "horror" of their powers. Reed hears Ben calling out to him and makes his way to Ben's cell. Ben asks for Reeds help, but Reed takes off and leaves him there when the alarm sounds. The real Reed would then use his mind to get his friends out ASAP. I kept expecting that to be the case. Turns out he just runs and hides for a year and is depressed.

 

Ben gets pissed and makes a deal with the government, to be a soldier for them in exchange for a cure.

 

A year passes in a cut, and Ben has been busy killing people for the military. On the last mission alone, he killed 43 people. Yes, the Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Thing, is a mass-murderer. The Thing, who goes to the park and juggles laughing kids - yes that Thing.

 

Sue betrays Reed and locates him for the government. Her motive is that Reed needs to send people back to Planet Zero so the four can be cured. Of course, there is no explanation on what would be accomplished by going back there, except for giving the government access to make more super-soldiers.

 

Reed fixes the machine and they send a second team to the planet who finds Victor and brings him back. Victor's skin has turned to metal, which worked so well in the Tim Story movies, they decided to do it again. Victor then "Scanners" kills the base soldiers and Franklin Richards.

 

Doom just wants to get back to Planet Zero so he can create a world of 1. If so, why the hell did he come back to Earth when he was already there?!?!

 

Cheesy quick battle ensues, Ben throws one punch, Doom is disintegrated.

 

The government gives them a billion dollar facility and they name themselves the Fantastic Four.

 

Zero Stars

Oh... My... God...

Right?

[Prince Namor]

Here is my full spoiler review

The movie opens in a classroom and the purpose of the scene is to show how smart Reed is as a child and that Ben was in his class. The classroom is dingy, the kids and the teacher make fun of Reed for his crazy ideas. 15 seconds in, and I knew I wasn't watching a FF movie. The FF always celebrates science and intelligence. If this was in a real FF movie, the room would be bright, the teacher would be an arrogant sub who calls on Reed, and all the other kids are smiling because they know Reed is going to put him in his place (not in a vengeful way, but in a here are the "real facts" way).

 

The initial intro to Ben is fine, he doesn't say anything, but is intrigued by Reed. Unfortunately it cuts now to Ben's home life, and his abusive brother smacks him HARD across the head and says, "It's Clobbering Time!". The Thing's fun catchphrase has now been linked to child abuse.

 

Having young actors is tough, and they seemed to do a fine job except when given lines a child would never say like Reed's first words to Ben, "Don't kill me!" Being super-smart I guess makes you jump to the worst-case scenario, or in this bleak Ultimate FF world, people get routinely murdered for petty theft. Then a little later, Reed teleports a toy car. Instead of a normal kid's reaction, "Wow, that's cool!!!!", we get a quiet, "Reed you are insane". No one is allowed to have any fun in this movie.

 

The film jumps 7 years to a high school science fair. It must be a small school that goes from K-12th grade, because Reed's 5th grade teacher is there judging the contest (not to mention there are actual 5th graders that Reed is competing against). The experiment works, but for some inexplicable reason it shatters a basketball backboard. No one seems to be concerned that if the wave had been aimed lower, it would have killed a bunch of kids.

 

Franklin Richards and Sue suddenly appear at the science show with no explanation why they are there, I guess they are scouting talent at this odd K-12 school in the poorer part of town. Or maybe they saw the list of upcoming school science projects that every school announces in advance. Anyway, they basically say, "wow, your experiment is exactly what we are working on, what a coincidence, we would like to give you a full scholarship." in about 30 seconds of screen time.

 

Fast forward again to the Baxter Foundation, and Reeds talks to Sue in the library. They discuss the music Sue is listening to and she blurts out "Pattern Recognition", like a slightly functioning autistic savant. That's how the character is played throughout the entire movie. You couldn't be farther from Sue Storm if you tried.

 

Dr. Doom is introduced as a moping emo recluse who only agrees to return to the project because Sue will be there. Dr. Doom is in love with Sue in this mess. In the real FF, Dr. Doom's motivations are 1) finding a way to save his damned mother; 2) making Latveria prosper (in his twisted way); 3) increasing his power so he can control the world; 4) proving that he smarter than Reed. In this movie, there is no mention of his mother, you never see Latveria, he wants to destroy the world and move on, and he dislikes Reed, not because of his intelligence, but because he is jealous of Sue. WTF.

 

Victor whines about the government destroying the planet. Sue says, "Look at Dr. Doom here". That line was probably filmed before the studio changed Victor Van Damme back to Victor Von Doom.

 

Johnny Storm is introduced in street race. He says two lines, "You promise me we'll still be cool after I dust your ." and "bye bye" then crashes his car. A quick cut to Johnny and his Dad coming out of the hospital and Johnny has a broken arm. Franklin yells at him and says he has the I.Q. to reach his full potential. So basically Reed, Sue, and Johnny are geniuses.

 

Johnny must have a mutant healing factor because his broken arm is never mentioned again.

 

They build the transporter and the government stooges come in. The test works and the officials tell the group that it will go to NASA now to coordinate going to another planet. Totally reasonable next step. Victor gets mad and gives the official his middle finger. Let me repeat that, the dignified royal Dr. Doom gives the bird. So painful.

 

Reed, Victor and Johnny get drunk, they decided to go to the planet on their own (leaving out Sue?) Reed calls Ben and tells him to come on down to the lab so he can go to another planet also. Ben not being drunk, of course agrees.

 

They make it to Planet Zero (Not the Negative Zone - it has no creatures, just rocks and green energy goo). They decide to climb down a mountain to investigate. Johnny being the daredevil, gets scared and stays behind.

 

Doom touches the goo, which starts a chain reaction of exploding goo. Victor doesn't make it and falls back into the goo. Sue brings the other 3 back. Sue apparently gets zapped by goo somehow, but it isn't shown on screen, which is really odd.

 

A cut and the 4 are locked up in government facility. They show the "horror" of their powers. Reed hears Ben calling out to him and makes his way to Ben's cell. Ben asks for Reeds help, but Reed takes off and leaves him there when the alarm sounds. The real Reed would then use his mind to get his friends out ASAP. I kept expecting that to be the case. Turns out he just runs and hides for a year and is depressed.

 

Ben gets pissed and makes a deal with the government, to be a soldier for them in exchange for a cure.

 

A year passes in a cut, and Ben has been busy killing people for the military. On the last mission alone, he killed 43 people. Yes, the Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Thing, is a mass-murderer. The Thing, who goes to the park and juggles laughing kids - yes that Thing.

 

Sue betrays Reed and locates him for the government. Her motive is that Reed needs to send people back to Planet Zero so the four can be cured. Of course, there is no explanation on what would be accomplished by going back there, except for giving the government access to make more super-soldiers.

 

Reed fixes the machine and they send a second team to the planet who finds Victor and brings him back. Victor's skin has turned to metal, which worked so well in the Tim Story movies, they decided to do it again. Victor then "Scanners" kills the base soldiers and Franklin Richards.

 

Doom just wants to get back to Planet Zero so he can create a world of 1. If so, why the hell did he come back to Earth when he was already there?!?!

 

Cheesy quick battle ensues, Ben throws one punch, Doom is disintegrated.

 

The government gives them a billion dollar facility and they name themselves the Fantastic Four.

 

Zero Stars

Oh... My... God...

Right?

And to think, I was actually giving the benefit of the doubt to some of these people who said the first part of the movie was decent....

[RockMyAmadeus]

Was that a review, or a synopsis...?