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The umpire is calling strikes..................

Started by ImageMask,

5,775 posts in this topic

Comicopolis

Comicopolis

Posted
Posted
J
I guess this could have been his bio. The mythical "how to describe yourself as a person college essay". I've always thought it was wonderful.

 

 

 

 

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

 

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

 

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

 

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.

 

I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

 

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.

 

I once read Paradise Lost, Moby , and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

 

I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

 

 

Pffff,'I can top that, I once made sense out of a Luxx post.

 

lol

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DR.X

DR.X

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Posted
Which shill was it?

 

meaning who was the actual person

 

Dunno for sure, but we're thinking Alleybat.

 

Anyone save those priceless well thought out posts he made? They were pretty funny

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DeadpoolJr.

DeadpoolJr.

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I didn't get to finish reading it. :cry:

 

I was in the middle of reading it when it went poof. Looked epic.

I only had the last page left when they were about to go at it. Its like watching a movie when its about to hit its climax, and the power goes out.
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Park

Park

Posted
Posted
Which shill was it?

 

meaning who was the actual person

 

Dunno for sure, but we're thinking Alleybat.

 

Anyone save those priceless well thought out posts he made? They were pretty funny

 

Dammit.

 

All my good stuff gets deleted. I spent at least thirty five seconds coming up with my ode to Mt. Butthurt.

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Gotham Kid

Gotham Kid

Posted
Posted
Which shill was it?

 

meaning who was the actual person

 

Dunno for sure, but we're thinking Alleybat.

 

Anyone save those priceless well thought out posts he made? They were pretty funny

 

Dammit.

 

All my good stuff gets deleted. I spent at least thirty five seconds coming up with my ode to Mt. Butthurt.

 

That was some funny mess ! :grin:

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