Comic collectors who have had serious, hobby-related friction with a significant other, how did it resolve? 2 2

[1Cool]

My ex-wife didn't really care about my collecting comics but it's probably because she got to spend all my comic selling money.  My wife and I now have pretty much completely separate finances so we really don't care what the other spends money on (but we also both work two jobs and are responsible people).

[D84]

10 hours ago, kav said:

-it's big.

That's what she said.

[Randall Ries]

15 hours ago, kav said:

Yep.  thats the good part of being old.  "You have no power over me".

On a level playing field I would agree. And yet, the voice.

Yes, the voice contains a hidden frequency that travels the length of my spine and slams into my brain. It forces me into action and doing things. Domestic things.

"Honey! HONEY!!!! I TOLD you to start the LAUNDRY! WHY didn't you start the LAAAUNDREEEEEE!!!"

"You have been feeding the dogs CAT FOOD instead of DOG FOOOOOD!!! WHYYYY?"

My favorite is what I have named "The Always Never Paradigm".

"You NEVER listen! You ALWAYS ignore me! WHYYYYY?" I would like to hear the opposite just once with the same tone: "You ALWAYS listen to me! You NEVER ignore me! WHYYYYY?"

The tone is used to get me to do stuff I prefer not to do at the moment. Or ever:

"Honey! HONEY!!! Take the trash out! HURRRYYYYY!!! You ALWAYS make me do EVERYTHING! You NEVER do ANYTHIIIIIG!""

My legs start jumping around and I DO try to remain outside-affiliatelinksnotallowed My limbs begin moving with a will of their own. I stagger to the kitchen and start pulling the bag.

"Honey! HONEY! You are spilling COFFEE GROUNDS on the FLOOOOR! You are NEVER careful! You ALWAYS make a MEEEESSSSS!!!"

I have long thought entire adversarial nations could be made to surrender if that tone could be harnessed and weaponized:

"YOU! Yes, YOU! There's NO ONE ELSE here! DON'T you IGNORE MEEEE! Put DOWN those rocks! Put DOWN those NUKES and park your TANKS! It's time to COME IIIIIN! We need to talk about our RELATIONSHIP, progress made thus FAR and suggest helpful IMPROVEMENT strategies to ONE ANOTHEEEEER!"

Zombie-esque members of the UN stagger to an overstuffed sofa and collapse in defeat. What are your terms?

[MetalPSI]

Wow, how are you still single?

[ThreeSeas]

My ex never minded me having comics, I just wasn't allowed to have much of any time with them, as when I wasn't at work or working some place, she needed to have me doing other things that she wanted done. Because she didn't work and slept until at least noon every day, the only "me" time I had was on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Oh how I used to look forward to those weekends. Now every day after work is like those weekends. My friends laugh when I tell them that it feels like I am on a permanent vacation/holiday.

Now in the seven years she's been gone I've dug out my collection that I mostly had to leave dormant for close to the 20 years we were together, and am enjoying it now. (In fact in the upcoming weeks I'll probably post about the new collection that I'll be picking up soon, and that will be a whole story for another thread.)

But my ex - she used to go to the motor city con with me every time that I could go, but now I look back I think it was so she could get selfies with whatever star was there. That gal loved (and still does from what I hear) posting her own pictures on Facebook.

Yeah, if you're married to someone who is a narcissus, good luck to you, because the only thing important to that person is them. I hadn't realized this until I was single, it's like a spell was broken when she left, and I came out of a fog.

I'm just glad I stuck to my guns about my stuff that I had before she was in the picture, and still have now that she's gone.

[Ryan.]

14 hours ago, spracknetch23 said:

My wife is set to give birth to our first child any day now. 

[GACollectibles]

12 minutes ago, Ryan. said:

14 hours ago, spracknetch23 said:

My wife is set to give birth to our first child any day now. 

Is it yours?

[Ryan.]

13 minutes ago, GACollectibles said:

26 minutes ago, Ryan. said:

14 hours ago, spracknetch23 said:

My wife is set to give birth to our first child any day now. 

Is it yours?

[Randall Ries]

21 hours ago, kav said:

My GF broke up with me on valentine's day, and made sure I saw her new BF drop her off at work the next day-

So she had the "new" BF for awhile, then. Her need for attention was that great she blew off social convention just for a face rub. I imagine in hindsight you feel much better w/o that in your life. After awhile, you may have even thought "Good. She's someone elses problem now." In fact, when other men point out a model on tv or a magazine and say "Aw YEAH! What I WOULDN'T DO....." Well? I would simply answer: "Yeah but you know? Somehow, somewhere in this world, there's some dude she's wee-weeing off to no end." And that is something that cannot be argued.

If it's the "curvaceous" one you were talking about, she is in for a world of hurt. Have you ever known a beautiful woman who was full of vanity and then began to watch her age? I knew a couple. One of them used her nearly perfect looks and shape to her advantage. Got the free stuff. Got doors opened for her. All her drinks were free. Same with a lot of meals. She treated men who look like me like dogs and women who weren't as thin, built or attractive as her even worse. Really, just a hateful shrew. Insecure, really. Then she began to age. That was the WORST thing that could have happened to her. There was no preventing it. And there was virtually no one there for her when she began to unglue. And unglue she did.

We can all run but we can't hide. At the end, whether we are handsome, beautiful, plain or ugly, it's what was inside that always mattered most.

Edited April 23, 2021 by Randall Ries

[kav]

6 hours ago, Randall Ries said:

Is any of it whitewashed? Sometimes that stuff gets caught in the net. Needs to be thrown back.

We white wash all our history here at History Conservation and Protection Industries, LLC Inc CCCp.

[William-James88]

wow this thread is rough. Thought it would be some fun conversation and BAM. Though I am glad most folks here seem happier than before.

As for me, books don't take up that much space and as long as I keep paying the bills I should pay, my wife doesn't care. It's my transformers collection she absolutely hates. Toys take up way more space and dont have the same dignity as vintage comics. 

You tell someone you have a comic from world war 2 era, that's pretty cool. 

You tell them you have the latest Beast Wars Megatron toy that you got from Walmart and you get a wedgee.

Edited April 23, 2021 by William-James88

[kav]

1 hour ago, Randall Ries said:

So she had the "new" BF for awhile, then. Her need for attention was that great she blew off social convention just for a face rub. I imagine in hindsight you feel much better w/o that in your life. After awhile, you may have even thought "Good. She's someone elses problem now." In fact, when other men point out a model on tv or a magazine and say "Aw YEAH! What I WOULDN'T DO....." Well? I would simply answer: "Yeah but you know? Somehow, somewhere in this world, there's some dude she's wee-weeing off to no end." And that is something that cannot be argued.

If it's the "curvaceous" one you were talking about, she is in for a world of hurt. Have you ever known a beautiful woman who was full of vanity and then began to watch her age? I knew a couple. One of them used her nearly perfect looks and shape to her advantage. Got the free stuff. Got doors opened for her. All her drinks were free. Same with a lot of meals. She treated men who look like me like dogs and women who weren't as thin, built or attractive as her even worse. Really, just a hateful shrew. Insecure, really. Then she began to age. That was the WORST thing that could have happened to her. There was no preventing it. And there was virtually no one there for her when she began to unglue. And unglue she did.

We can all run but we can't hide. At the end, whether we are handsome, beautiful, plain or ugly, it's what was inside that always mattered most.

THIS
once an ex hottie ages they become angry vindictive shrews very interested in cutting other peopl'e sex activities and judging.  Its incredible, really.  The 2 GFs I described were 2 different ones-the curvaceous one was literally queen of the world for a long time.  Dont know what ever happened to her but she is 54 now so you do the math.  And her mom was an ex hottie who at age 55 was walkin around in miniskirts trying to convince herself she was still hot.  She wasnt.  she was hideous with a saggy scary face.  I heard someone say once "That woman looks like a freak witch!"
The other GF went to a weekend gathering of friends that I didnt like to hang around cause they drank too much and I didnt drink at all.  There she got back with her ex who she broke up with because he's a drunk.  She was super susceptible to peer pressure and all her GFs wanted her to get back with him so they could all dtink.  
She came home and broke up with me.  

[William-James88]

On 4/21/2021 at 11:28 PM, Artboy99 said:

yikes!

my ex from long ago wanted to teach me a "lesson" about what is important and she told me she threw away my comic collection. I went to the room they were supposed to be in and they were no longer there.

I knew we were done and returned the "lesson" and threw out all of her shoes. She had almost 50 pairs.

I will be honest...even to this day 25 years later I never thought she would have been capable of it. Whether she really did throw them out or had just hid them I still couldnt be with someone like that.

 

Did she actually throw them away?

[William-James88]

18 minutes ago, kav said:

  she was hideous with a saggy scary face.

Was it just her face that was saggy?

[lordbyroncomics]

I think older women can be incredibly sexy and, as said above, it's the character and what's inside that counts. The girls I've dated, admittedly some of them have been pin-ups and such- not one of them cared about aging and getting older. I know this because they were outspoken about those women that were. One girlfriend said, "these people_without_enough_empathy worry about their wrinkles but them being stupid? that's forever" and I really appreciated that.

 

We should stop talking about girls and talk about music. One of you was talking about your tele, Kav was mixing sound... where's our music experience thread at??

[Namtak]

27 minutes ago, William-James88 said:

wow this thread is rough. Thought it would be some fun conversation and BAM. Though I am glad most folks here seem happier than before.

As for me, books don't take up that much space and as long as I keep paying the bills I should pay, my wife doesn't care. It's my transformers collection she absolutely hates. Toys take up way more space and dont have the same dignity as vintage comics. 

You tell someone you have a comic from world war 2 era, that's pretty cool. 

You tell them you have the latest Beast Wars Megatron toy that you got from Walmart and you get a wedgee.

That megatron looks awsome ! 

[Namtak]

33 minutes ago, William-James88 said:

wow this thread is rough. Thought it would be some fun conversation and BAM. Though I am glad most folks here seem happier than before.

As for me, books don't take up that much space and as long as I keep paying the bills I should pay, my wife doesn't care. It's my transformers collection she absolutely hates. Toys take up way more space and dont have the same dignity as vintage comics. 

You tell someone you have a comic from world war 2 era, that's pretty cool. 

You tell them you have the latest Beast Wars Megatron toy that you got from Walmart and you get a wedgee.

Thats what you should do for people to take toys seriously

[Namtak]

Just now, Namtak said:

Thats what you should do for people to take toys seriously

Gaston always my hero

[kav]

24 minutes ago, wisbyron said:

I think older women can be incredibly sexy and, as said above, it's the character and what's inside that counts. The girls I've dated, admittedly some of them have been pin-ups and such- not one of them cared about aging and getting older. I know this because they were outspoken about those women that were. One girlfriend said, "these people_without_enough_empathy worry about their wrinkles but them being stupid? that's forever" and I really appreciated that.

 

We should stop talking about girls and talk about music. One of you was talking about your tele, Kav was mixing sound... where's our music experience thread at??

They can.  I've seen em.  I've seen 60 year old women with nice figure and face isnt saggy.  The scrawny saggy harridan ex hottie-nope.
Think about it all your life men have fallen at your feet and worked on your car for free.   One day youre just a regular person, treated regular.  It must be a real shocker.  Like you lost the ability to walk or something.

[lordbyroncomics]

1 minute ago, kav said:

They can.  I've seen em.  I've seen 60 year old women with nice figure and face isnt saggy.  The scrawny saggy harridan ex hottie-nope.
Think about it all your life men have fallen at your feet and worked on your car for free.   One day youre just a regular person, treated regular.  It must be a real shocker.  Like you lost the ability to walk or something.

You guys are kinda harsh! I feel like I'm in a saloon or something. Kav, you need to write your memoirs as soon as humanly possible